I won't be posting three times a day forever. I'm "flooding the zone" this week, as Paul calls it, to give you a better handle on what to expect. You've already figured out I'm not a "sex columnist." And I won't be covering Web porn, adult-site revenues, or pricey gadgets. I'm a writer, a reporter, and my beat is the Valley's intersection of money and sex — real sex, where people do each other in person. It's the one thing tech guys can't take care of themselves. My editor says people like lists, so I've whipped one up for you.

Here's my hit list:

• Sex that money can buy. Who to buy it from, and how.
• Step-by-step instructions short enough to read on your phone.
• Sex parties. Just as if you were there with me. Maybe you will be!
• Any really good sexual adventures hot enough to post. Yours, mine or anyone else's.
• Ruthless mockery every time a local newspaper runs a photo like this and claims it represents my work as a mistress for hire.

Topics I'll leave to others:

• Porn.
• Namedropping, i.e. who's screwing who.
• Masturbation. Yours, mine or anyone else's.
• Second Life, teledildonics, and other gadgety excuses to talk about sex as "technology."
• Dan Savage-style sex act advice. I'll lead your horse to some sweet, sweet water. But you're on your own after that.

In short, if it involves getting laid — and you aren't afraid of somebody getting paid — I'm your girl.

(Photo by Heather Corinna)

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