Now that the Sports Illustrated swimsuit issue has hit the stands, most Americans are wondering: What does it mean for the S&P 500 Index? Luckily, some financial bloggers have gone through their back issues, correlated the country of origin of the cover models with economic statistics, and answered the question! Turns out that an American on the cover, like we have this year, equals a much higher average gain for the S&P. This so-called "Swimsuit Issue Indicator" is the exact opposite of the "Time Magazine Indicator," which predicts that having George W. Bush on the cover of Time correlates closely with poverty and war. Har. After the jump, Bespoke Investment Group's full 30-year chart in all its number-having glory [via Dealbreaker].

5:09 PM on Tue Feb 12 2008
By Hamilton Nolan
2,423 views
27 comments

Comments

Unfun at 05:17 PM on 02/12/08
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(cue 40 comments about her boobs)
belltolls at 05:21 PM on 02/12/08
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As I thought. More Czechs. Less balances.
fiveinchtaint at 05:27 PM on 02/12/08
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@Unfun: Now everyone is afraid to be predictable. I actually prefer that sort of start of the crotch line you can see there as she's pulling down her bottoms with her thumb - what do you call that? Is there a name for that?
antisocialite at 05:29 PM on 02/12/08
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Those boobs are HILARIOUS.
Hez at 05:30 PM on 02/12/08
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The bathing suit Marisa Miller is almost wearing is designed by my best friend and client, Anna Kosturova!

Insidery huzzahs! Vancouver REPRESENT! (And before you ask, it looks identical on me, let me assure you.)
Conbon at 05:30 PM on 02/12/08
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@fiveinchtaint: I've heard it referred to as the "love parabola"
Maxwell3.0 at 05:32 PM on 02/12/08
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I'm going home now. Marisa and I have a very special evening planned together. then I'm calling in sick tomorrow and buying stocks all day.
Unfun at 05:34 PM on 02/12/08
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@fiveinchtaint: clafoutis
CaptainFantastic at 05:36 PM on 02/12/08
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@Hez: Cool. Can she send me an assortment for my significant other (by V Day)?
JorgeLuisGorgeous at 05:42 PM on 02/12/08
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I've created a similar chart tracking lotion sales.
Hez at 05:42 PM on 02/12/08
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@CaptainFantastic: You lazy fucker. Yes, probably. Bonus: most of the designs have been named by yours truly.

[www.annakosturova.com]

Oh, and yes, I know an obscene amount of bikini models. People can hardly tell us apart most of the time.
Pope John Peeps II at 05:50 PM on 02/12/08
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Doesn't it sort of look like they just flesh-colour-photopainted all the spaces inside the necklace?
Cheap Shot at 05:57 PM on 02/12/08
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the video mash-up feature on the neat. You could add raggae to it and voila! Girls Gone Wild ad:

[sportsillustrated.cnn.com]
NorCal at 05:57 PM on 02/12/08
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@fiveinchtaint: kooch trail?
fiveinchtaint at 06:01 PM on 02/12/08
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@Conbon: calculusty

@Unfun: I clearly missed that joke, because I've seen that dessert's name scattered around here but I don't get it.
CaptainFantastic at 06:03 PM on 02/12/08
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@Hez: I forgot to ask if they could be sent to me at no charge. But that doesn't matter anymore, I'm now unattached and you are my best friend.
Unfun at 06:09 PM on 02/12/08
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@fiveinchtaint: What? That was the greatest story in the history of Gawker! Get with it, dude. Emily was banging Josh, and she wrote about it on her blog, and then he wrote about it in an expose in "Page Six" magazine to get revenge, and claufoutis's were consumed, and lives ripped apart!
TheHonJudgeSmails at 06:14 PM on 02/12/08
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@Unfun: Clafoutes?
Unfun at 06:18 PM on 02/12/08
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@fiveinchtaint: Also can you put that avatar away? It's giving me lady boners (yes, more than one) and I've got important legal matters to attend to here.
Hez at 06:19 PM on 02/12/08
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@CaptainFantastic: I'm sorry, I can't hear you when there's no expensive baubles in my hand.
TheHonJudgeSmails at 06:20 PM on 02/12/08
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@Unfun: It's somewhat poetic to defend yourself against rape charges with a ladyboner.
Unfun at 06:33 PM on 02/12/08
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@TheHonJudgeSmails: No thanks love, I already ate.
@TheHonJudgeSmails: You've got a dirty little mind.
fiveinchtaint at 07:02 PM on 02/12/08
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@Unfun: Ah. Yeah, either I didn't pay much attention to that one or I missed it altogether. Thanks for the education though! I'm glad I can return the favor in the form of evening dew?
TheBigDoggy at 10:56 PM on 02/12/08
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Anyone care to guess how many MILLIONS of subscribers Sports Illustrated would instantly lose if they dropped the swimsuit issue?
foggytown at 11:55 PM on 02/12/08
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@TheBigDoggy: You nailed the crucial point of this issue: after People, this is Time Inc. gold-egg laying goose - gets cited in EVERY SINGLE FUCKING employee meeting. Nothing creepier than sitting in a room full of suits when big-titted models flash up on screen. Even worse is when they show the 'on location' video shoots. Very uncomfortable. (For those getting boners and those of us sitting next to those getting boners) (It's kind of cool that people still get boners over chicks in bikinis and don't need scary hard core porn). I also like to type the word 'boner.' BONER BONER BONER.
bigspike at 10:03 AM on 02/13/08
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1. Is it my imagination or does she look like Trish from "Clean House"?
2. I guess after those S & P stats, SI will never put another Argentinean on the cover. Too bad...I was really hoping to wank over a shot of Fernando Rey in a tankini.
famousauthor at 01:07 AM on 02/14/08
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I think Dick Cheney was reading that issue before he had his last heart attack.