Nicole Kidman Finally Outed, But Not The Way You Think

Hearing the news that Nicole Kidman will play Valerie Plame in the upcoming big-screen version of PlameGate is like hearing your biggest crush is going to be at some party: yeah they're really cute and that's great news, but who else is gonna be there? As in, who's director Doug Liman gonna get to play Dubya (our vote: Will Ferrell, of course!)? Scooter Libby? Bob Novak? Cheney, for chrissakes? As the Jumper director told MTV News, his take on tackling what could go down as one of George Bush's biggest missteps might require more far-fetched casting choices than Cinematical's suggestion of Richard Gere for Novak. As Liman says, "I have a really, really insane take on how to tell it. It's so outrageous." You know what would be really outrageous? Casting the entire movie using members of the SNL family!

Obviously Daryl Hammond should play Cheney and, if he can double fist it, maybe he could play Scooter as well? If not, we think some saggy eye makeup could turn cad-about-town Seth Meyers into the snarly should-be inmate. Amy Poehler could step in to play Plame in flashbacks, and Bill Heder is hot enough to play Plame's hubby Joseph Wilson and generate actual sparks (side note — it couldn't have just been us who felt some serious chemistry between Seth Rogen and Heder in Superbad, right?). As for Novak, we've got our hopes set on the Dr. Evil-inspiring Lorne Michaels, who has plenty of real world experience at masterminding rises and demises. Now all we need is a part written in for some sort of crime-fighting duo played by Alec Baldwin and Tina Fey, and this decade's Watergate will be one laugh away from The Naked Gun.