Why Facebook must die, die, die — the 100-word edit

Kinky but reliable io9 editor Annalee Newitz, in her latest column for the communists at the San Francisco Bay Guardian, confesses her contempt for Facebook. Our dark media overlords at Gawker force us to use Zuckerberg's creation to stay in touch, so I feel her pain. I whacked Annalee's 723-word fumefest down to the naughty bits.

1. I don't have to go around parties in real life advertising whom else I slept with. Why should I have to online?

2. All the "requests" and "pokes" and whatever the fucks. Facebook opened up parts of its system called application programming interfaces, or APIs, which allow anyone to write some dumb program that will send you crap. "1 gay request, 1 american citizen test request, 1 good karma request, 1 smartest friend invitation." "hottest friends invitation," "zombie invitation," "vampire bite request," and "compare movie scores invitation." Why the hell do I want to answer a gay request from a zombie?

3. I was actually forced to join by my employers [yes, she means Denton], because we use Facebook as our employee contact list. Facebook is a tool of social conformity.

Annalee Newitz is a surly media nerd who never did find out what is a "gay request."