Gawker
We tried to leave this one alone, but its influence has now grown to the point that it must be mentioned. We're referring, of course, to that reggaeton-themed commercial for IO Digital Cable, which is maddeningly effective at making you remember a phone number you will never call. What do mermaids, life preservers, jet skis, and latin beats have to do with cable? Eight seven seven three nine three, four, four, four, EIGHT! That's the answer. This is both the best and worst ad in the world [AV Club]. Gluttons for punishment, please watch the ad below again and again until you can recite it from memory like the rest of the population of New York. We apologize.
"Come On Mi Gente, Let's Get Online!"
Read More:
3:36 PM on Thu Feb 14 2008
By Hamilton Nolan
6,021 views
122 comments
Comments
Eight hundred five eight eight, two three hundred. Emmmpiiiiiire!
Not only did I have this commercial memorized a few weeks ago, I am starting to work of the choreography.
@fiveinchtaint: today...
This actually happens at my neighborhood grocery on the daily. I get my eggs from those hip thrusting jet ski mermaids i'm pretty sure. That move, that's when they lay the eggs I think.
This and the Citywide ad are strangely alluring to me. I cannot help but look when they are on.
Dan, Dan, the Citywide Man....
This ad is all over Spanish-language TV, in Spanish, were it sounds kinda hot.
@TipsyRussell: @fiveinchtaint: Remember when they changed it to "today" being sung??? There was an uproar, everyone hated it like it was New Coke, and they changed it back to being spoken. It was a very brief tryst with song.
I agree the video is unwatchable, but the soundtrack is so good Zack Braff may well have picked it. I only listen to this or "Do you wanna Fanta?" during my daily Erin E-Surance whack-a-thons.
In Boston, there was a great one:
"Who ya gonna call when your windshelid's busted? One Eight Hundred Fifty-Four GIANT!"
@CodePink: @TipsyRussell: @fiveinchtaint: That "today" is so oddly soothing, isn't it?
The sea dragon looks like Andy Samberg, and this is more memorable than most of those digital shorts, unfortunately.
slightly less pandering than the Beyonce one at least...
Oh behalf on all latinos, I sincerely apologize for Reggaeton. . . and Alberto Gonzalez.
Man, I've seen this ad on TV too many times, and seeing it again in another context makes my glad I'll be dead soon enough and that I have no kids who will have to experience the end of the world as we know it.
Now, why didn't they hire this director/choregrapher for La Hillary's video? Oh, right. White people.
@TipsyRussell: @CodePink: @TheHonJudgeSmails: There's evil sorcery behind all of this.
The Fanta girls are soooooo jizz-elous.
@PeenScene: It sounds hot in English, mi amigo.
800-588-2300. EM-PIIIIIIRE! [doonk]
This commercial has ruined so many lives. It's like Scientology and Syphyllis all rolled into one and covered in Adobo. Why do all of the fake daddy yankees flash gang signs while "rapping" about cable? BTW, reggaeton has about as much to do with reggae as scientology does with science.
@fiveinchtaint: Um, like I said!
I've been trying to explain this to friends for weeks now! Thank you!
Name that hotel chain:
Eight oh oh ... three two five ... three five three five!
@fiveinchtaint: Yes! Far more annoying!
(And now stuck in my head for the rest of the afternoon. Thanks!)
@mathnet: First and last time I beat you to a punch. Now if I can just win an open caption.
@fiveinchtaint: I'm fairly certain that when the Empire Carpet Man comes to your house he fucks your pets/children when you are not looking.
Also, I JUST got this damn thing out of my head after having it in there all day (IO. Digital Cable. Watch a lot of TV whenever you're able. Fuck you, dude. Just for that I'm reading a book.) Thanks!
If you have any knowledge as to the whereabouts of Sharon Cuthbert, or any information regarding her disappearance, please call 1-800-876-53 ... 53
/Robert Stack
And leave the last "s" off for savings.
867-5309
Oh! And what about the Quick Lube guys?!
They're awesome!
'Cause they're not too classy to get right down and lubricate your chassis.
I HATE THIS COMMERCIAL, except for the random lobster guy at the end is kinda cute.
Now Dan Dan the Citywide man, driving around in his citywide van, there's a commercial.
mmmmm. i wonder how that lobster would taste...
wasn't this playing when hillary came onstage in el paso with her little friend?
Twenty Nine Niney Fiy!
@DorothyMantooth:
Here you go way too fast
Girl slow down you're gonna crash
Does that help wash it away?
My fave is still the 1-800-victim2 commercial. if you look at the number painted on the wall in the background it says "1-800-victimA". Obv they had to change the song for you gringos.
[whistles "at PC Riiiichard's"]
@fiveinchtaint: Sigh. If it's not one thing with you...
@DorothyMantooth:
twenty twenty twenty four hours to go...
"They say a man should always dress for the job he wants. So why'm I dressed up like a pirate in this restaurant?"
i hate to sound so, well, caucasian, but is the rapper a real performer -- i can't find anything on google. only ask as it's such an expensive commercial, and seems fitting that it might be a version of a real song like the beyonce one (sorry, can't find the beyonce commercial on youtube or i would share).
i suffered PAIN
i needed LAW
Is anyone here from Baltimore? "Got 20-inch rims?" "I GOT that."
@fiveinchtaint: "Now you're doing it on purpose... How juvenile!"
(Also? HATE The Ramones. Haaaaaaaate!)
@CarsonDial: Does Steven L. Miles still do the "Let's talk about it" ads?
@BettyCrocker: Oh, my goodness, I haaaaaaaaaate those SOOOOO much...
Flames! On the side of my face!
@contradicto:
I forgive you for former. But never, ever for the latter.
Anybody remember those early 80s ads for the Milford Plaza hotel? Or what about that bitch from Flemington Furs?
While this one is annoying - it can't beat my current favorite:
"sometimes, he takes me to the theater"
"you love the theater"
"sometimes, he just takes me home at night"
"oooooo, girl..."
@MrJames: The lullaby of Broadway, baby!
@DorothyMantooth: One Eight Hundred Em Ay Tee Tee Ar Ee Es!
Dan Dan The Citywide Man once dialed (800)588-2300 and there was a rip in the space-time continuum. He attempted to repair this error by dialing 1-800-Matress but he failed to leave off the last "s." He can now be found cleaning carpets at both the Nevele and Beautiful Mount Airy Lodge.
@BettyCrocker: AND! "Thank yew, Doctah Zizmuh!"
My "wife" and I were afraid we couldn't afford the cost of dental work.
Ok, there's no jingle, but admit it, it gets your attention.
Regarding the blogger's opinion about how "you will never call the number" Let me give u a piece of behind-the-scenes reality: Even after it's been running for 5 months, this spot still averages 2000 calls a day, only from New York City. It is by far the most successful direct-response commercial in the history of this cable company.
Someone please explain rapping dragon.
head-on, apply directly to the head; head-on, apply directly to the head; head-on, apply directly to the head!
@TheHonJudgeSmails: I had a nightmayuh, Dawcta Phyl!
@BettyCrocker: That one was worse when they had the 2 Japs from the UES sing it.
@TheHonJudgeSmails: I'm still mildly disappointed when I walk by and there aren't people tap dancing outside.
@Fuzzy_duffel_bag: Does that dude not have the weirdest voice ever?!
It freaks me out, man!
@contradicto: Only the latter keeps me awake all night.