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"Come see the pussy willows in and around my home!" encourages Martha Stewart in her new blog entry, which we suspect is an elaborate joke by highly paid consultants to circumvent any mocking of Martha by making her own content patently ridiculous on its own, and seeding it with such obvious joke opportunities that to point them out would just make you look like a bully. "Jodi was diligently keeping a watchful eye on my pussy willow shrubs, waiting for the catkins to be open just so," adds fake Martha. Yes, of course. Well-played. It's like trying to think of sarcastic comments about an Edward Gorey book; impossible, because the grotesquerie is already in there. Can you look at the following three totally unedited captions and photos from the Martha blog and conclude anything else?

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"This is my dear friend, Charles, in his Institute for Advanced Studies sweatshirt."

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"On my way back to the house I started to photograph all the beauty of nature including the allee of ancient apple trees, recently pruned and shaped."

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"What a darling little Eli."