To celebrate the return of the beard (I know), the Chicago Tribune interviewed the sketchiest bearded men they could find. "Meeting people and rubbing your fuzzies on them is an extra hello," according to one guy with a half-grown-in beard who'd just finished plucking phone numbers from a Help Wanted board. During the entire interview, the cameras center on the beards, presumably to protect the men's identities while the child molestation charges blow over. That cinematography choice takes this two-minute clip (shown below) from dumb to priceless.

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