Certified crazy man David Tarloff was arrested yesterday for the UES psychologist cleaver murder. According to the Post, the doctor he killed was not even his target. He planned to rob another doctor, then escape to Hawaii with his 73-year-old mother Beatrice, for whom he was toting a suitcase full of women's clothes and adult diapers. The Post offers the disappointingly straightforward headline: "Madman Nabbed; Crazy Patient 'Revenge' In Shrink Slay." That Saturday night headline-writing shift really needs more coffee. Can YOU do better? Alternative headlines in the comments, please.