By happy coincidence, I landed Valleywag's sex reporting gig just before my first-ever trip to the hormone-fueled SXSW ("South by Southwest") Web, music and video festival in Austin. It's still three weeks away, but I'm trying to get a leg up by decoding all the parties I've been told I shouldn't miss. Which ones will really get interactive? Can I get some kind of mobile map mashup of which naughty bloggers will be stumbling distance between Austin's Sixth Street — the after-dark party block — and my hotel suite? How many inhibitions will be wiped out by Red Bull and vodka open bars? Or will my girl-on-girl action be limited to fondling Danah Boyd's hat? Suggestions and solicitations can be mailed to email@example.com.