Hayden Christensen Returns To His Charisma-Free Sci-Fi Roots

Ease the bitterness of having to work on President's Day with the knowledge that 1) Grover Cleveland always made his first and second assistants roll calls on Washington's birthday, and 2) the names Roscoe Jenkins, Hanna Montana, and Juno appear nowhere in the weekend box office numbers:

1. Jumper - $27.225 million
So well did Doug Liman's teleportation adventure connect with audiences (expect the words "fourth highest President's Day opening ever" to grace a trade gatefold ad in coming days, featuring a tiny Hayden Christensen standing atop Mt. Rushmore, perched on the tip of the Washington Monument, and avoiding swerving traffic at the entrance to the Lincoln Tunnel), that Fox is already talking franchise:

"When you have a successful movie, you want to built on it and have sequels," senior VP of distribution Bert Livingston tells Variety. Still, by the time those roll around, audiences will have already grown wise to the studio's strategy of using dozens of lightspeed location changes to distract from the star's dead-eyed line readings. Jumper 2: Emoter will therefore pose effects engineers with a challenge unlike any other: creating the awesome illusion that Christensen can shift mood gears as quickly as his character can leap from bed to the top of Empire State Building.

2. Step Up 2 the Streets - $19.666
While Step Up star Channing Tatum may have only appeared in it for the contractually mandated minimum (consisting of one shot of the actor with a hand over his cellphone as he fields a call from his agent, wishing the next generation of Step Up-pers best of luck on their sequel adventures), Step Up 2 the Streets still managed to outperform expectations. Our only concern, however, is that its catchy pun-title may have painted future installments into a corner. Sure, Step Up 4 What's Yours has a nice ring to it, but Step Up 3 Is 1 More Than 2, Can U Feel It?!? is likely to just confuse people.

3. The Spiderwick Chronicles - $19.080 million
The underperforming Spiderwick suggests young audiences might have finally reached their saturation point with the fantasy genre. Parents currently struggling with home infestations, however, may still want to consider taking the family, as further nightmares might be avoided by telling your children that the rodents and cockroaches scampering across their pillows are in fact the magical Boggarts and Brownies of the Faerie realm, visible only through a magical seeing stone you've managed to misplace.

4. Fool's Gold - $13.08 million
That's $2.18 million per ab!

5. Definitely, Maybe - $9.685 million
With the Fanning sisters effectively nudged out of the running, Abigail Breslin (as if we didn't see this one coming) has fully ascended to Hollywood's Favorite Precocious Youngster Capable of Imparting Worldly Wisdom Exceeding That of Most Adults Five-Times Her Age. Whether her palpable chemistry with screen dad Ryan Reynolds will yield further pairings remains to be seen, however, although we will say this: Paper Moon isn't going to unnecessary-remake itself.