Everything Lindsay Can Do, Paris Can Do Sluttier

Considering that she once celebrated her birthday by hosting parties in five different cities, Paris Hilton has set the bar pretty high when it comes to self-indulgent birthday parties. So when it came time to celebrate her 27th birthday, she did what every slutty heiress would do — take the stage with The Pussycat Dolls in hooker clothes, of course! But while Hilton played quick change artist (alternating between a "sexy" cop and a a "sexy" lingerie model), there was one newly sober and newly naked star who wasn't allowed to attend the festivities.

Yep, that's right, following a recent scrap, Paris reportedly banned Lindsay Lohan from attending any and all of her birthday parties this weekend. Bummer, especially considering that Paris managed to find room for persona non grata Sam Lutfi on her VIP list. And while no one managed to spot Paris' former flame Travis Barker at the club, the two reportedly engaged in a frenching session earlier in the week. So now that you're all caught up on Paris, please excuse us while we go take our usual post-Paris-item shower. You can never be too careful these days, you know.