As we pointed out yesterday, Lindsay Lohan's nude body [pic via New York] is only interesting insofar as it generates lofty intellectual analysis. What underlying effect might the photo shoot have on Lindsay, her career, and American culture as a whole? Radar rounded up reaction to these questions from several esteemed media observers (including Ronn Torossian), but we decided to turn to the world's foremost experts in these matters: the Gawker commenters. After the jump, five incisive observations from two commenters that summarize—in verse, no less!— this sordid moment in our history.
BY MISTERHIPPITY AT 02/18/08 06:00 PM
Lilo's freckles bespeckle her hiney
And likely as well her vaginey.
Her breasts are audacious,
Because, though capacious,
The nipples by contrast are tiny!
BY TEDSEZ AT 02/18/08 06:41 PM
There was a young lady named Lindsay
Whose photos were naked and skinsy
Though she looked very fine
In the boobs and behind
Her expression was vapid and ginsy.
BY TEDSEZ AT 02/18/08 08:06 PM
The sad truth about our lovely Lindz:
Her career may be gone with the winds.
But she'll see better days —
She's a hit with the gays,
With a camp value high as Paul Lynde's.
BY MISTERHIPPITY AT 02/18/08 09:32 PM
On LiLo's nude-pic escapade
Let me share an assessment I made:
The freckles on her tits
Outnumber the twits
Who saw the last movie she made
BY MISTERHIPPITY AT 02/18/08 10:47 PM
Lilo's nudity here, to be fair,
Is just part of her drug-rehab care.
First her coke pants she doffed.
Next the coke blouse came off.
Last, she took off her coke underwear!