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Don't worry if you haven't been invited to a private party yet. You still have the rest of your lunch break to get on the guest list for a party that'll make you forget about old Gene Simmons. Here are three venues hosting five parties among them this weekend alone.

  • Club Kiss: Held in a decadent, arty Mission playspace by a very experienced team of hosts. Yes: lush electronic beats, condoms aplenty. No: single guys, sorry. Here's where you're most likely to overhear startup gossip in the backroom, or spy a name-brand fetish model on the stripper pole. All guests must be prescreened via email before getting an official invite. Next party is this Saturday, Februrary 23.
  • Tangerine's Dream: Swinger events every weekend in San Jose. This Friday, February 22 is their Quarterly Coalition Party. Don't let the stuffy name fool you — it's one of their biggest bashes all year. The estate offers a pretty view of the Valley. Single men allowed with approval, but all prospective guests have to become members before attending. TD runs a more exclusive party for couples and single women on Saturday.
  • Interracial Kink: Throws parties in the East Bay geared towards group sex. This Friday is Down and Dirty, and Saturday is a Sexy Lingerie Play Party themed. Call ahead to reserve an invitation and get some light screening. All-night fucking and sucking are promised, but I've never been myself. Their low-tech gangbang matchmaking service sent me to my Back button.

Most sex parties are geared towards couples — no dateless guys allowed — but we've already told you how to find a date who'll be discreet about the deal. Expect to spend about $60 per couple to cover valet parking and other incidentals. Leave your phone with its videocamera in your checked coat. You'll have to make some vivid memories instead.

(Photo from Club Kiss (c) Photos by Wilkinson)