Somebody should warn the ombudsman to shut the hell up before Zell gets wise to the fact that nobody understands what the fuck an ombudsman actually does, and therefore, he's probably not needed on staff.

Hey, asshole! Get over here and buy this fucking paper!

Everytime I see a Zell story I just remember growing up in Chicago and how fucking cold and nasty it is in the Winter and how tired you are by the time Spring came and then you go to a Cubs game. Was there a story here too?

I wanna see Sam Zell run screaming out on the field at Wrigley in the top of the 5th and try to show Carlos Zambrano how to keep his curveball down.

Working in a restaurant should be required during HS/college before entering the real world. I mean, what job did I have where the owners WERENT constantly shouting obsanities at me?

People need thicker skin.

I think Sam Zell only knows what respect is when it's coming towards him. It never seems to go in the other direction. So why is he not writing for Gawker? He seems like the perfect grey-bearded snark.

@Furious George: Kind of like a lumberjack?

And just for the record, my anti-Zell campaign, which I am rebranding "Zell on Wheels," is still rolling. This guy is a complete clown who ultimately doesn't give a flying fuck whether the Tribune ends up making money or not. For more indignant rants on this subject, click on my turkey avatar.

I just cannot look at that man without thinking of Brian Doyle Murray.

@beahumanbeing: "I did too earn residuals for Cabin Boy!"

I hate these fucking jerks who try to mask that fact that they don't have the slimmest clue about how to run a business or, much less, manage a staff, by being a bluntly profane "straight-talker," as if that is somehow better than the fucking jerks who ran Tribune before and couched their idiocy in corp-speak.

Bottom line: For all his "candor," Zell doesn't have a strategy for this company other than getting his money out first and leaving the employees staggering under debt in their ESOP.

But, given that he likes the more anglo-saxon direction in language, mabye Trib staffers can just greet him by chanting, "Bullshit! Bullshit! Bullshit!" the next time he sticks his gnomish puss into one of their newsrooms.

Whine Whine Whine. The usually bullshit whines. Zell wants to create a media empire, and, damnit, I'm cheering for him. There aren't too many other billionares out there with the balls to buy all those assets and attempt to update them into profitability. He's a bottomline man and you have to respect that. He invests in brazil, nontraditional energy companies, and real estate. Why not go for a media too - at least he'll sex things up a little bit (Rupert Murchdoch and Sumner Redstone are so fucking boring).

I agree completely with SNEAKINGTHROUGHTHEALLEYWITHLALLEY: people do need thicker skin. Learn to take it from your boss. Cut the bullshitting and get to work. Maybe try to create a worthwhile media product.

@KarenUhOh: Seriously. All I can think of is cupping Clark's balls and calling Sam Zell "Mr. Shirley."