Prepare yourselves, Drillbit Taylor fans — Owen Wilson is ready to act again. Today's announcement marks his first trip in front of the camera since that unfortunate incident about six months back that put a temporary halt on his thespianic pursuits. So what kind of challenging role is the newly-refreshed Butterscotch Stallion gonna sink his teeth into? How does a lazy blonde slacker who has possible stoner issues grab you? Oh, wait, you mean to tell us that it sounds like every other performance he's ever given? Never fear, we assure you this time it will be different. For this time, he'll be acting with a dog!
That's right, with flagrant disregard for W.C. Fields' timeless advice never to act with children or animals, Owen will be playing the lead in the film adaptation of John Grogan's best seller Marley & Me—a story about a Wilsonesque dude who adopts the world's worst Labrador retriever. So what does Grogan think about this inspired bit of casting? So sayeth the author, "I'm actually really thrilled to have Owen Wilson portray me. We don't look anything alike but I think his personality will be a great fit to my own."
You know, who are we to be all snarky about this? If we went through whatever it is Owen went through, we probably wouldn't much feel like challenging ourselves either. Besides, the eternally single Jennifer Aniston's also in it, and she's still kinda hot, right? See you in the theater!