Ohhh dear. Don't tell your "uncle" Barry, but Bette Midler's new Las Vegas show, "The Showgirl Must Go On," is apparently not so good. The musical extravaganza, that has the unenviable task of replacing Celine Dion's mind-bogglingly successful phantasmagoria at Caesar's, is opening tonight, and yet critics have been banned from reviewing it until February 29th. This is never a good sign. The Las Vegas Sun's Joe Brown managed to see an invited dress and has some terrible (if a bit vague) things to report.

I can say that Midler and her crew are going to need every minute of the next 10 days to make it work. And maybe a miracle. And maybe even Barry Manilow. Very much a work in progress, "Showgirl" may even require that most Vegas of renovations — demolition and reconstruction.

Meowch. If this thing is bad... Well, let's just say you'll want to get the hell outta the desert. Wigs everywhere. [LAT] Hey, here's a truly fucking bizarre clip of Bette in her 1997 Vegas special, "Diva Las Vegas."

Oh and, by popular demand, here is her dreadful performance on last year's American Idol finale.