Gawker
Like a James Ellroy novel, two Beverly Hills plastic surgeons recently did a survey to find out which celebrity features people would pay and bleed and disfigure to have. It's a typical smattering of famous folks of the day, and of course Star magazine was there to report the results and put together a picture mash-up of the perfect celebrity lookalike plastic surgery make-over. [Star] After the jump, a handy list of which features are in demand, as well as a larger version of the creepy computer models.
Women:
- Katherine Heigl's nose
- Angelina Jolie's lips
- Keira Knightley's cheeks (she has cheeks?)
- Jessica Simpson's hair
- Katie Holmes' eyes (post droop-eye surgery, I assume)
- Daniel Craig's eyes
- Leonardo DiCaprio's nose
- Matt Damon's lips
- Christian Bale's jaw
- John Stamos' hair (hah!)
Comments
Oh my god, it's lesbian Elvis!
@collegecallgirl: Or John Travolta and Zac Efron's kid.
since when do guys want to look like Norm McDonald? I mean, Billy Madison was great and everything...
Zombie-fied Elvis Presley and Sienna Miller with an additional dose of testosterone. Not great.
I don't understand why Katie Holme's would be so coveted. I really don't.
The woman looks pretty much like every young starlet around these days. So generic.
The guy doesn't look masculine at all. The face is too round.
My verdict: creepy dude, generic girl.
So the ideal man is... k.d. lang?
Katherine Heigel's nose looks like fucking banana. I don't think women are lining up to look like her, I call bullshit.
Norm McDonald after a hair straightening and cheeseburger binge is what guys want to look like? I seriously doubt that. Also the chick looks like Kylie Minogue.
@downlow: well they probably do all go to the same plastic surgeons.
The one on the left is Jay Leno's mother.
So all you have to do to look good in Hollywood is be in an auto accident?
@Conbon: Wonderful.
HOLY MOTHER OF GOD, WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH THOSE CHEEKBONES, ARE THEY FUCKING INSANE?
I wouldn't eff that mushy, pycho, doughy, greasy Jay Leno looking schmoo with an anthrax coated snapping bear trap vag
@collegecallgirl: Since my committed life partner left me...
@Conbon: ha! sorry Con, didn't refresh before I submitted
Those aren't cheekbones, they're armpits.
@Artful Slinger: They wish.
Jessica Simpson's hair?
So Ken Paves funded this "study"?
Norm McDonald is the ideal male face?
@DorothyMantooth: I didn't even know plastic surgeons could FIX your hair!
@FrankieButtons: perfect.
In the picture on the right, isn't that the female wooden puppet who was on Team America World Police?
I'm pretty sure the female on the right already exists, slinging plates at a Hooters somewhere in the south, awaiting her big break.
Has anyone mentioned one or both of these may or may not look like Norm MacDonald?
And has anyone noticed that we just tripled the number of web hits for Norm MacDonald for the past six months?
@DorothyMantooth: well aren't they luck you can buy her hair at any mall kiosk
@MisterHippity: Yup. I thought so.
@BalknChain: The truth deserves repetition.
If these two had kids - FUGGEDABOUDIT!!!! We're tawkin' BYOO-TEE-FUL!
It is a sad, if kind of funny commentary on celebrity fixation to suggest that combining the best features of Daniel Craig, Leo D, Matt Damon, Christian Bale and John Stamos will result in Jay Leno.
@KarenUhOh: I think the guy kind of looks like Norm McDonald. I wonder what Norm McDonald thinks. Norm McDonald.
Alan Alda and a blonde Mrs. Billy Joel
The girl "ideal" would actually be pretty cute, were it not for the contribution of Keira Knightley's Auschwitz-chic cheekbones.
The guy looks like the love child of Elvis and Chuck Woolery. The girl is the love child of Peter Frampton and Carrot Top.
@collegecallgirl: HA!
@MisterHippity: Awesome! That was just on TV the other night too!
I am terrified by both of these outcomes. Cheekbones are rounded, not triangular, people!
The guy looks like a typical boyband member, aged 45.
More proof that the whole is more than the sum of its parts. See also: the spawn of Bruce Willis and Demi Moore.
@BalknChain: Baaaaaalllky! Quit playing hard to get, you little minx. You forget I have the pictures of you riding The Leno.
Also: JOHN STAMOS' HAIR!?!//1
I'd like John Stamos' ex-wife plz kthxbai
If you want Malcolm Gladwell's brain, does it have to be anchored in place by his hair?
i thought the world had enough baldwins. now this.
Is John Stamos still considered a celebrity? Also, Jessica Simpson's hair?
I call bullshit on these results too!
@scroll_lock: I told you what would happen if you ever mentioned that! I am now gathering the torture supplies; let's see..grape jelly, 400 Post-its, 1 pair of hip waders, bubble wrap and a Slinky so I suggest you run. NOW!
@collegecallgirl: Ha! Yes!
Is this anything like that Hair Club for Men I've been hearing so much about?
Finally Jesse Katsopolis gets recognition for the great hair he was always striving for!
@BalknChain: Don't forget the bungee cords and hummus.
@laney: "Eh eh eh, don't touch the hair!"
Why do plastic surgeons care about hair?
@collegecallgirl: Isn't Lisa Marie already lesbian Elvis?
Nobody wants nothin' from George Clooney? I, too, call bullshit!
@scroll_lock: You did not earn it this week *huff*
@BalknChain: It's not over yet! I'm going out this week with guns a-blazin'!
@scroll_lock: You're late. Al Pacino already did that.
@Furious George: You kind of take pride in being part of the problem, don't you?
Also, "to disfigure" is a passive verb now, as well as an active one?
Good news for the surgical economy, not so good for the action heroes, I guess.
Angelina and Leonardo have some damned strong features. No matter what else is purportedly added, you totally see them in these creepy faces!