If you have any children on your lap while reading this post, now's a good time to ask them to leave the room. We're about to reveal some hard truths and some major spoilers about life. Ready? The tooth fairy doesn't exist, Santa Claus could care less whether you're naughty or nice, and reality TV isn't exactly real. We know. It's a bitter pill to swallow, but you had to find out sooner or later. And if we didn't tell you, you would have surely arrived at that conclusion after reading the Village Voice's riveting "exposé" of Iron Chef America.
We'll set the scene for you. A reporter was sent to a taping of the Food Network's most awesome show and was appalled to discover that many elements of the broadcast have been doctored with to make more compelling television. For example, that chairman guy? He's not really the chairman of anything! And those battles? As thrilling as pre-heating an oven can be, sometimes they edit stuff like that out to make the show look more exiting!
But don't be disillusioned just yet, because the Voice drops an even bigger bomb: "Like a lightbulb coming on over our heads, we realized that the chefs had known the identity of the main ingredient all along, just as they had known ahead of time which Iron Chef would be paired with the challenger."
Holy crap! It's truly a dark day in Kitchen Stadium. Excuse us while we unplug our TV and throw it out the window with the rest of our lying appliances. Et tu, Mr. Coffee?
- Iron Chef Boyardee [Village Voice]