In a move that may send the space-time fabric of the Manhattan gossip media folding in on itself with apocalyptic results, Leven Rambin, the Julia Allison-connected 17 year-old All My Children actress, love object of Hud Morgan, and proto-starlet of the celebrity-industrial complex, has announced that she will be playing a "Lindsay Lohan-esque character" in an upcoming episode of "Lipstick Jungle." So, "does that mean she's a messy party girl with a coke problem?" wonders Ben Widdicombe. "'Oh yes,' Rambin nodded enthusiastically, and then added: 'The character that is, not me.'" The implications are staggering. A recap, a link to a handy visual aid, and a guide to the key questions we now face, below.
The recap: Rambin was formerly a Julia Allison friend. Then she hooked up with JA's former boyfriend Jakob Lodwick, and is now dating Men's Vogue writer Hud Morgan, who recently ranted at JA at a party. The sexually ambiguous Morgan, who loves Fruitinis, did not appreciate JA talking about him around town. Probably smart!
The implications, and questions: Rambin, who was recently proclaimed by Splash News to be the next Paris, Britney, or, most notably, Lindsay, is going to be playing one of her doppelgangers on TV. Is this her formal audition for skank stardom? Is it the first step on the road to nude photo shoots so shocking they save the magazine industry and inspire limericks? Will Rambin become the newest incarnation of Marilyn Monroe, whose sultry image Lohan co-opted in a desperate grab for continued relevance? If so, we will surely be the first ones to tell you.