Before now, rap songs dominated the "song's lyrics expressed through ironic graph" genre. (The most famous was the Village Voice's analysis of This Is Why I'm Hot.) Now a bunch of loveable webtards have done the same to pop songs. Some favorites are below.







There are more here and here. Commenters are of course encouraged to top this.







Comments
People do this? I guess it's less boring than watching the debates. Okay, "McArthur Park."
Melting in the dark 15%
Sweet green (or cream) icing melting down 15%
Cake in rain 20%
Have I got it, or should I log off and go watch "Numbers?"
percentage of song memes relating to rick astley's "never gonna give you up": 65%
zzzzzz
Sir Mix-A-Lot:
Size of "Back" = Strength of "Sprung"
Bad things happening to you:
Nowhere to sleep cause someone took your bed.
You're late on the rent.
Landlord may hire a litigator.
You're broke.
You have no style.
You have no girlfriend (naturally).
Your worries: 0%
Your happiness: 100%
Only like the "Location of hands" one.
Survey of Girls' Wants
(Percentage of respondents)
- Food 0%
- Clothing 0%
- Oxygen 0%
- Fun 100%
"Commenters are of course encouraged to top this."
but what he really means is Commenters are of course encouraged to CATER TO MY WHIMS.
(oh? did you think I'd forget?)
The first Rickroll in there is the best.
@meech: Aguilera disagrees slightly:
(What a Girl Wants (Whatever Makes me Happy) What a Girl Needs)
The Waitresses provide the rest of the survey:
Survey of What Boys' Want
You - 0%
Me - 100%
Process: Why Do We Scream At Each Other could've come straight from my Neo-Reichian Therapy massage training sessions.
People who call Steve Miller the Space Cowboy + people who call Steve Miller the Gangster of Love + people who call Steve Miller Maurice + people who call Steve Miller something else (presumably including "Steve Miller") = people who call Steve Miller something.
Anyone care to diagram that? I would, but my Visio skills aren't really up to snuff.
@the supergoddess: Actually it was one of the whims.
@MisterHippity: Don't forget (+ people who call Steve Miller a joker + people who call him a smoker + people who call him the Midnight Toker)
@She Blinded Me With Omniscience: No, I think the correct mathematical representation would be:
Picker = grinner = lover = sinner = joker = smoker = midnight toker = Steve Miller
@MisterHippity: Wow, you really thought that one through, didn't you?
(= lover on the run = music-player in the sun = seemingly harmless)
(moondust + hair of gold) + (starlight + eyes of blue) = dream come true = you
Radial map of the block reflecting the progressive degrees to which people are fooled by the rocks that I've got.
@MisterHippity: multiplicitous avian appearance (cause?) = consistency and frequency of object's proximity to subject
You leave me now = me - >0.5(me)
Chestnut-colored leaves + somber sky + perambulating on a winter's day = manifest hallucinations of America's largest state
hip = ²
@MisterHippity: GREAT. Is this thread going to turn into Graphymorons?
I would rather be the pope. No question.
x axis: Number (in millions) of other white rappers who emerge.
y axis: Amount of weath accrued by using black music/degree to which concept works.
(knock on the ceiling) * 3 = you want me
(knock on the pipe) * 2 ≠ you want me
For being a nerd, Nick Douglas, you have no idea how to post a visible image on here I can't make sense of any of these because the writing isn't even legible.
well i thought this was hilarious. but ive been home after an early night of drinking for half a hour and my winter coat is still on so im so not to be trusted.
When asked, "At this moment, what do you think I would do?" the voters responded:
- curse you
- say things to hurt you
- hate you
- raise my hands to you
- love you
- subtract twenty years from my life
- fall down on my knees
- kiss the ground you walk on
- beg you
- spend the rest of my life with you
I have the blueprints for a bird house. All I need is your soul.
someone please superimpose Obama's head in there so I can feel some deeper meaning.
@LolCait: Fancy pants!
@Nick Douglas: I have no idea what that means nick douglas. perhaps you'll TEACH ME TO PARSE?
@LolCait: squeeeeeeee!!!!
@Victor Ward:
Walk
I put together a pie chart, but I don't know how to enter it into the comment box. Help, anyone?
Eh. Fuck it.
Reasons to Leave on a Midnight Train to Georgia:
(In %)
Would rather live in his world than in own world (50%)
LA 'too much for the man' (10%)
Go back to simpler place in time (25%)
Find out what's left in world in world let behind (15%)
@adminslave: let=left. Back to work/sleeping with eyes open.
Proof for the proposition: "That we should be together is undeniable."
1) A [You are like a dream come true.]
2) B [I just want to be with you.]
3) C [You are the only one for me.]
4) D [I believe my work is done.]
5) F [We should be together undeniably.]
Where:
6) If A and B, then C.
7) If A, B, and C, then you will fall in love with me.
8) If ~[A, B, C, or D], then ~F
9) If F, then A.
______
A
Proof:
A (1)
B (2)
A v B (1, 2 addition)
C (6 modus ponens)
D (4)
C v D (3,4 addition)
A v B v C v D (1,2, 6,4 addition)
F (8 double negation)
A (9 modus ponens)
The proposition F is affirmed; however, the necessity to start back at one is simultaneously thereby established.
@Victor Ward: You left out a few:
1.See the ghost of Elvis on Union Avenue.
2.Note that Security does not see him as he walks through the gates of Graceland because they are huddled around his tomb
3. Walk with your feet 10 feet off of Beale Avenue
3. If asked whether you are a Christian child, reply in the affirmative
Someone please leave directions for putting in pie charts/graphs/ Jpegs. PLEESE??? Richard?
I'll try and post instructions on your Commenter Profile Page here.
@Hez: Thanks Hez! I'm so glad the family is back together on the weekends.
@MisterHippity: LOVE your work! Reminded me of a cover band that used to do this song in a bar I worked in years ago, and the guy would always sing "There's 50 Ways to Leave Your Lover, 51 if You're Claudine Longet."
Sorry, guys, I am a low-techie...
-
Things I Have Done
(Only To Be With You):
* climbed the highest mountain
* run through the fields
* run (again)
* crawled
* scaled these city walls
Things You Have Done:
* broke the bonds
* loosed the chain
* carried the cross of my shame
@She Blinded Me With Omniscience:
So... Alaska Dreaming?
@lilpupdog: I was going to go back and fix that right after I typed it, and I hoped that people would deduce that I meant "largest (in population) state."
Plus, your correction is funny. :-)
People Interested in Achieving Immortality
a woman's man
a mime in a hurry
a formerly abused child
a brother
a mother
the staff of the New York Times
@MisterHippity: When Pete Seeger sees this, he's going to start your fan club.
What makes me your man:
@Ms.Hatfield-McCoy: I must stay deep, 'cause talk is cheap: great reference!
@TheHonJudgeSmails: LOVE.
@MisterHippity: Awesome
@MisterHippity: You just keep getting exponentially better