The person who stole the HP laptop was just being ironic.

Somewhere, in his evil lair, John Hodgman laughs while his minions smash a pile of stolen iMacs.

This shit doesn't happen in Astoria!

That's why I secure my MacBook Air w/ a cement block... it also helps it match Williamsburg 'Poor looking yet absurdly expensive and illogical' aesthetic.

Thieves don't care what kind of computer they are going to steal. It's just more likely that these idiots are more prone to leaving it on the table at Sarfucks for 25 minutes while they wait for their half-caff soy mocha extra hot latte. (FYI-always order extra hot, or they are cold in like 2 minutes)

@thedecider: Your right! I chased a guy down the street in MidTown to get my laptop (Dell) back after he took it from a bar. Never ever happened in O'Hanlons.

poor buglars got confused by the apple sticker on the dell didn't they?

Where can you buy stolen laptops? EBay?

as it just so happens, i'm typing this from a stolen hp laptop.

coincidence? ;).

I'm CMMNTING from a Mac and I live in Brooky! Hehe!

I always wondered how Mikey's Hook-Up manages to find "barely used" trade-ins.

@HipsterRunoff:
...you're cuming in Brooky? whore.

@IndianSlipper: Puh-lease! Know your hipster! This particular breed of post-college douchebag would not be caught dead at a Starbucks. Rather, imagine that they left said laptop at the independent, locally owned, free-trade coffeeshop whilst going to retrieve their oily, black coffee. A half-caff soy mocha from Starbucks is so totally Boerum Hill or Prospect Heights. Or worse, just plain West Village.

Hmmm, a sample size of 9 allows accuracy to the nearest percent? [/nitpicking]

@purpleprose: Is there a Cliff notes for this?

@purpleprose: Beautiful observation. Comment of the day!

Maybe if they weren't so busy pretending to be writing/working, they wouldn't lose track of their laptops so easily. I think it has more to do with those being stolen from rather than the thief population in the area.

Let's just suppose for argument's sake that the common thread here is that all the victims were just too self involved to realize that they weren't the center of the universe.

Let's assume that the victims were so self involved in fact, that they simply assumed everyone around them would alert a 'would be' thief that the laptop did not belong to them, but the wonderful person over by the napkin dispenser.

And let's just suppose the others in the coffee shop - getting such an air of condescension from our victim at first seating that when the poor boob left his laptop unattended for half an hour to talk to a hottie by the napkin dispenser, none of the locals really cared...

@harveywallbangers: I'm just gonna assume you're a thief. I'm initiating an IP packet trace as we speak. The cops will be pounding on your door within the hour

I am actually going to assume that the Macbook Air has been developed especially for this demographic so they can leave their goods unattended in a cruddy yellow envelope at any coffee establishment without fear of theft.

@El_RapeO: he he he, no, but I have seen people completely ignore those guys who creep through the shops in the east village looking for unnatended hardware. I would always say something of course.