Paris Hilton To Everyone: Pay Attention To Me!

Paris Hilton is not going to just stand by idly while the likes of Lo Conrad and her posse of entitled Hills chickettes steal all of her thunder. The lazy-eyed heiress is returning to the reality television fold in a yet-to-be-named project from Ish Entertainment, the production company recently founded by former Vh1 reality show maestro Michael Hirschorn. The show will revolve around Paris Hilton's attempts to comb through a gaggle of camera-ready twentysomethings an attempt to find a new "best friend" (read: someone who she'll gladly appear with for a few reunion show photo opps and then promptly never call again). But wait, that's not all! In a move likely prompted by being repeatedly passed over by magazine editors in favor of her spawning friends, Paris is desperately trying to reignite her fading star (a la Sunshine) by, you guessed it, strutting around town with a new boytoy on her arm.

Despite being banned from the Academy Awards this weekend, the ever media savvy Paris found a way to make Oscar Sunday work to her advantage. She was spotted walking around the Barney's in Beverly Hills holding hands with Benji Madden, the less famous and even less talented twin brother of Nicole Richie impregnator, Joel. While we harbor no illusions that the mainstream media will do anything other than breathlessly report that the two are "dating", we're calling shenanigans on this faux-mance and branding it the least believable fake relationship since Michael Jackson and Lisa Marie Presley. Speaking of which — only seven more months til the VMAs, you two!

[Photo Credit: Getty Images]