The worst is the real Garfield strip where Garfield briefly slips into paranoia and existential despair:

[www.garfield.com]

Pareene -- perhaps you could provide this same service for your colleague Nick Douglas?

Sometimes dudes will try to talk to me and I'll just yell "OLD!" Then we fuck.

@collegecallgirl: OLD!

Yeah, funny. But isn't this even older?

I'm with you, Pareene - I heard about this a while ago. We can be smartypants know-it-alls together!

on the bright side, you scooped Douglas by two weeks.
downside: you're totally making him the next of the gang to die.

@TheHonJudgeSmails:
balls.

yeah but have you guys seen this one
[i4.photobucket.com]

Next we'll get a hard-hitting expose of those Lovecraft's Family Circus strips.

But what of Cathy without bathing suit season?

@hortense:

Auuugghh!

Someone did this thing where they cut out all of Garfield's word balloons so that each strip is just some sad sack of shit talking to his cat, or screaming at his cat, or calling his cat names. Much funnier than Garfield without Garfield. Much sadder too. I laffed.

@Ed:
Maybe I could interest you in Kathy Bates without bathing suit season?

here everyone, make your own. [www.dougshaw.com]

(fyi i'm looking these up because i'm trying to search for this insane lynchian photoshopped garfield strip in which garfield is replaced with a real, fat, orange cat making a scary face and then jon's face turns into the cat face and it's really terrifying, but i can't find it)

@hortense: a haunting, sourceless "ACK!!!" echoing across the endless universe.

@allyzay: jesus christ!

I take issue with the following statement on the Arbuckle site: "[Garfield] is, if not quite the Lowest Common Denominator of the comic world, at least as close to it as one can get without being obviously mediocre." Seriously? Is there some avant garde material in Archie or Marmaduke that I have been missing?

Cartoons don't always need words. Just look at Charlie on the mound in the rain, with his glove floating away, no game today.

Hope you all are as depressed as me now!

@hortense: She finally found a man. Nothing else really matters anymore.

Brilliant

@Nard38: Um... POOR?!

"My life is a cartoon. Thought bubbles float above me indicating the subtext of my actions and if you look very close, you will see that I am made up of dots of color." That's what the first little box of my comic, BLOGGED IT, will say.

Thanks, Doree.

@hurleyburley: Do NOT mock Archie.

Garfield is a pretty cool strip. I was going to point out Sunday's strip, but I was afraid it would get me shit on and I just did the laundry. Jon's PC pretends to crash rather than deal with his love email to Liz, saying "even the Internet has its standards."

BTW, check out today's Doonsebury, which asks if Obama "can govern in a minor key."

Oh, and speaking of comics, Bill Buckley did the bucket thing.

@allyzay:

I would like to chuck excrement (mine, yours, his, that of a moose) at Bil Keane, creator of Family Circus.

God, I know what you mean, Alex. I haven't gotten as bad as "OMG, that is SO this morning," but I have found myself saying, "They're writing about that old story," only to realize that it was only from two days ago.

Frivolity is such a stern taskmaster.

@flipper baby: :D

i love you!

Hmm, speaking of comics:
[www.nytimes.com]

@hortense: Jezebel has an exclusive on that.

@Sarcastro: YES! Count me in. I'll call Fed Ex.

@Sarcastro: I always liked when Billy left that dotted line behind him while he walked all over town jumping over wheelbarrows and shit.

@Richard: I love Archie, don't get me wrong. But we are talking about the comics page, beloved by nine-year-olds and USA Today subscribers everywhere. It's not like they are slumming when they print Garfield.

That's not nearly as good the website where Mallard Fillmore cartoons are redrawn so that all of the pictures are of him having sex with Prince Valiant.

@flipper baby: As Gregor Samsa awoke one morning from uneasy dreams he found himself transformed in his bed into a cat-faced loser.

@collegecallgirl: Yeah, I just realized I misread your first post. Now I know you're supposed to yell "OLD" at me, then . . . Can we start over?

@Nard38: I don't think yelling OLD at a girl has ever gotten a guy laid. I may be underestimating the sick, perverted world we live in, though.

@Nard38: But I did change my name for you.

@raincoaster:

All Hail Lasagna Cat

@Richard:

I'm with ya on Archie, but he's right about Marmaduke. That shit was NEVER funny.

One last.

Internets!

I photoshop the captions out of Lolcats and save them to my computer drive because I like the pictures of cats and sometimes what they say doesn't sound like something a cat would say in normal life, like someone is making them appear to say ridiculous stuff or think along the wrong lines completely. After I've deleted their bad-words I sit back and tell my computer drive to start a slideshow of my proper lolcats and I do the correct voices for each cat I see - ginger cats have a slightly higher voice whereas black cats talk with a slightly French accent unless they have white spots which means Eastern European or sometimes broad Turkish or Chinese. Tortoiseshell's always have a lilt in their accent, like a valleygirl thing but not a happy one, maybe they got their car stolen and they're still upset about it and they're waiting for the insurance claim to come in. I can entertain myself for hours doing this, and it's great exercise what with me rocking back and forth all the while - my abdomen is relatively muscular but my throat can get sometimes sore with doing all the voices and my headaches come with the spots before my eyes through having to understand what the cats are really thinking.

@collegecallgirl is horny: If yelling OLD counted as a credential with women, I'd have sired a village by now.

@flipper baby: ok that one is pretty awesome too

@VirusWithShoes: Commie. Deranged commie, but a commie.

If Prince Valiant is still around, so may be Terry & the Pirates. Any sightings?

@Michael Jahn: You haven't? I shout "mid-thirties" and I've already got a hamlet on the go here.

@VirusWithShoes: Not that I recall, but memory, you know ...

@VirusWithShoes: @collegecallgirl is horny: Seconded.

This is funny. I remember the Garfield cartoon show where every so often a surly Garfield would mutter something about people being dragged into a dark alley and shot.

@collegecallgirl is horny: This "OLD" thing might just have legs, huh?

@Nard38: It's the ultimate neg!

@Nard38: I said the exact same thing to Lauren Bacall and she slapped my ears.

@ Sarcastro: Agreed. Family Circus is the worst ever. Worse than Rex Morgan, MD, worse than Mary Worth, and even worse than Love is.. and Ziggy combined.

However, there was this great week a few years ago when all of the Family Circus panels ran with the wrong captions under them. The only reason I noticed was because I actually laughed.

Does anyone know if Andy Capp still runs? That loveable, drunk wife-beater...

Also, Archie sucks because Veronica and Betty never get nekkid together and it's not the 50's anymore. Dagwood sucks because it's not the 30's anymore. Beetle Bailey sucks because noone ever dies or reaches down into a pile a goo that used to be their best friend.

Marmaduke Explained. Waaaaaaaaaay better.

I read the entire Internet every day, which is why I am such a miserable bastard and no one really enjoys talking to me anymore. I said this exact thing to my therapist last week. She punched me in the face when I corrected her and let her know, technically, 2girls1cup was just something from Stile Project in around 1999.

Odie rulz!!!11!!!

@IronSheik: Actually, he used to say that people "should be drug into the street and shot." No alleys for Garfield, he stands behind his mindless killing.

Also, f Arbuckle, AND Garfield without Garfield and their pretentious hipster humor. Though the strip isn't often funny anymore, up to the 25th or so book it was great.

Yes, I read 25 books of Garfield. I was at summer camp with no electricity. Had lots of time.

@VirusWithShoes: When are you becoming reality TV? I will totally tune in!

meh. this was on defamer friday.

That's Odieous.