I received this disturbing photo in an unsolicited email from perpetual Gawker frenemy Julia Allison, whom I have never met. "Recognize this woman?" it read. Why yes I do, because THAT IS MY AUNT standing next to Julia Allison. Apparently they met at some college alumni event. I'm reminded of the scene in every gangster movie where the enforcer goes up to the family and says menacingly, "Pretty little girl you got there. She goes to Longwood Elementary every morning at 7:30." Aunt Carol: If this happens again, just back away slowly and notify campus security.

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