Oh, Hamilton. You just don't get it. Aunt Carol's already dead.

The little thought balloon over Julia's head says: "Boobies!". And poor Auntie Carol can do nothing but fix a thousand-yard stare on the exit sign.

This is just like the time Tinz put a horse's head in Richard's bed.

What a coincidence! Did they graduate in the same class?

The blog posts are coming from INSIDE THE HOUSE!!!!

@baby flipper: is anyone else picturing a severed my little pony head here?

***
Believe me it's for the better.

Can we just fast-forward to the part where Kevin Federline knocks her up, she does a Percocet-enhanced dance number at the VMAs and her dad takes power of attorney and locks her down pls? Thxbai.

She's holding Aunt Carol at boobpoint.

Aunt Carol (monotone): "Julie is treating me very well, I am not being harmed or coerced. Check out her blog, and look for her on Red Eye!"

It is almost like she wants to have her life chronicled on Gawker.

they're coming for you barbara. uh, hamilton.

Very Good! May we call you Ham now?

@the supergoddess: Indubitably!

What's really strange is that your aunt's nametag read "Ask me about my Gawker-writing nephew."

@karion: Aunt Carol? I know. What a publicity w...anter.

(No, I just couldn't go there. It's still too soon. Condolences, Ham.)

@mitchel_stevens: "They come out of those... pods!"

Oh my God I also have an Aunt Carol! Fortunately for both of us I am only a lowly commenter.

@moff: She's a real Ho...ya.

Couldn't she use that silk scarf to maybe garrotte her?

Wow, Hamilton - ballsy of you to put a picture of your aunt on this blog. Peeps can be mean, you know. Hopefully your guillotine is at the ready.

"Let's talk about you aunt. What does she think of my tits?"

@PandoraSpocks: We shouldn't without his permission. We don't want to give people the impression we're a bunch of assholes.

@fiveinchtaint: I did ask her permission. She is a very intelligent and professional woman and hopefully far too smart to be reading Gawker much.

Hamilton, your Aunt Carol - who runs the literature department at Princeton - is verrrrrry concerned about the direction of your journalistic proclivities. ;)

and it's not that she's too smart to read Gawker, it's that she's too busy doing things like teaching about journalism! oh. and too smart.

@Hamilton Nolan: Actually, I'm pretty sure she's El_RapeO.

@Julia Allison: No kidding. The things this blog covers.

Forget the tits! Look at the brain box! How does that little chicken neck support that Ginormous head? The head, it ah scares ah me...And yet makes me feel a bit tingly...

@Bof: Hey, that's someone's aunt you're talking about, mister.

@Julia Allison: So when you guys discussed your favorite books, which one was hers, and which one was yours, and were they both the same?

@Hamilton Nolan: Ha! Thankfully you included the word "much" or I might be offended.

So your aunt is a dike from Wilmette?

@Julia Allison: Aunt Carol turned a Georgetown degree into a professorship at Princeton? Wow. Water to wine, huh?

@In Other News...: I am pretty sure Aunt Carol is a little too old for the Babysitter's Club series.

@IndianSlipper: Dude.

@moff: See, that is why I've been cringing in anticipation of.

@fiveinchtaint: *what*

@fiveinchtaint: Exactly. We don't talk about El_RapeO that way.

Is there anyone left on the planet who hasn't been forced into being photographed with Julia?

And why is Julia always photographed in the same ridiculous pose and sporting the same insipid grin every single fucking time???

@Nard38:

I like the sly. Nicely done.

You haven't got a pet rabbit, have you, Hamilton?

I'd be checking the hutch right about now.

Hope your aunt enjoys her day out at the fairground, though.

I can't really articulate why, but this post had me laughing out loud for a solid 2, maybe 3 minutes. LEAVE AUNT CAROL ALONE!

(Also, apparently all of us have an Aunt Carol. It's sort of like a metaphor for how Julia Allison is stealing a part of all our livelihood's and invading our lives.)

@Julia Allison: Meanwhile back at the raised ranch, Julia's parents, recently arrived from New York, put their house and the market and start investigating the real estate market in Nova Scotia.....

@The One: "And why is Julia always photographed in the same ridiculous pose..."

Two reasons.

@IndianSlipper: Easy, famous guy...

@moff: Heh. And... did JA go to Princeton?

@karion: NEVER! are you implying that she's sucking up to the newbies so that they'll post items about her? not julia!

Shouldn't Julia be preparing for her ultra-private and exclusive pink birthday party?

@The One: Practice makes perfect.

@econdave: Awesome.

@Julia Allison and Nard38: Executive Director of the Council of Humanities at Princeton, evidently. Also? Lecturer, not professor. So, it’s not exactly the Wedding at Cana.

does anyone else think julia allison looks kinda like some sort of pure bread sight hound?

@Claystil: A CockHer Spaniel.

@Claystil: No. No one on this blog has ever said anything that nice about Julia.

@Claystil: I get more of a Wonder Bread.

@moff: Except for Nick? In some round-about way?

Did I say that out loud? Damn, sorry Aunt Carol.

Anyway Julia, let me introduce myself. If you come back to Chicago for St. Paddys