Stephen Schwarzman, the CEO of Blackstone Group, SVP of the Illuminati, and chief party coordinator for the Rich Powerbrokers' Society, is really just a regular guy. He dragged Times reporter Michael J. de la Merced along on a totally spontaneous tour of the Sacred Heart School in the Bronx, which Schwarzman gives millions to (because he likes the fact that it's easy to fire the teachers. Really). There, he meets his fourth-grader protege and pen pal "Victor." Awww/ retch! The private equity god is working hard to rehab his image, which took a hit after his insane birthday bash last year, where he simply sat in a cavernous room for hours burning bricks of $100 bills under the feet of shackled welfare recipients. Or at least, that's how the public remembers it [NYT, New York]. Bonus pics of his super fantastic 2007 birthday party room, after the jump.