The first spam email Boing Boing reenacts in this clip was authored by one Mr. Howitzer Cannonpants. It explains that while a rod in Moses's hands may part the seas, nails in yours could only build a birdhouse. Also, Mr. Cannonpants notes, women freak out when they see his crazy-sized huge brother in his hands. In the second email, Maurice asks for cash. He needs it because large-busted women — wearing no bras — tried to push him into a lake when he visited Canada's manpower office.

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