Drugs Will Save Us All

Short, fat, dumb and lazy: Americans are the worst. But what if there was a drug that could change all of that? A drug that could cure every social, professional and emotional problem that exists? Why, that would be awesome. We could give up all those other drugs that only get us half way there. Maybe there might be such a drug, sometime soon!

Wired.com contributor Quinn Norton supports any technology that can improve upon the human form. She's already had a magnet installed in her finger that let her feel electricity going through phone cords and her laptop. (And here I am, like a sucker, stuck with only taste, touch, sight, hearing and smell, when a sixth sense like magnetism could be a total lifesaver. The problem with evolution is that it doesn't adapt to technology fast enough.)

In a talk at the O'Reilly Emerging Technology Conference, Norton pondered how society would react to a miracle drug, one that could "reduce your need for sleep, increase your concentration and make you smarter, with minimal side effects." She says it'd usher in a New Enlightenment! We think the government would ban it for civilians and give it to soldiers. But it's cool, because in the future, we'll all have connections to army drugs.

(Scientists are already hard at work developing this miracle drug. Scientists funded by the Defense Department, natch.)