Dibs on the FUJA.com

I find the yellow ones especially offensive.

What's everyone got against blowjobs?

I saw a hummer parked near Port Authority with the license plate "NT GUILTY". So. Cool.

@Ummwhat: i find the yellow ones the least offensive. at least you can pick up some stray children and play it off as "the short bus".

@danisaikou: Probably just some defense attorney.

My husband said it best, "Nothing says I'm an asshole like driving a Hummer!"

Tools.

@Asunshine: Yeah, and i guess when the economy bottoms out, rather than selling it for scrap, you could throw a taxi sign on the roof and make a couple bucks.

At 3.5 miles per gallon, it costs $3,132 to fill up one of these monstrosities.

Ummm.... we're not in Iraq so morons can drive Hummers and idiots can flip them off. We're there because:

+ Watch video

Ever since my new(-ish) neighbor 3 door downs decided to brick over his entire front lawn and park his Hummer on it, i've been esepcially disdainful of the vehicles.

I am now collecting submissions for my new website exclusively featuring bleeding heart yuppies getting run over by Hummers.

[www.ihumpedyourhummer.com]

@Ummwhat: which will inevitably go towards gas money.

My 3-year-old loves Hummers. The dolts who purchase these monstrosities have approximately the same mental capacity.

Seen last week on the Long Island Expressway: Hummer with plates reading "ucantbuy1"

Clearly result of a tragic castrado incident in youth

What does she think her brother was driving in Iraq?

I knew it was right to think that Roger Clemens was an arrogant prick, worthy of my disdain, when I discovered that he drives a Hummer.

I mooned a Cadillac once.

What I've been longing for are little all-weather stickers reading "Tiny Penis Club of America: Breaking the silence and the shame." And every time I see a car or a truck bigger than most people's houses, on it would go in a discreet place next to the license plate.

@jadedperson: What are these things, like $50-60k? Not exactly the rarified heights that would warrant such a tag, but I like the idea for a 959 or something.

@vulturesquadron: When bored teenagers start planting IEDs on the Garden State Parkway, then you can you make your stupid point again.

@vulturesquadron: That's kind of the point. Huge, military-style vehicles should probably be used by the military rather than a suburbanite with ego issues ferrying the tykes to soccer practice.

And what happens, guys, when your home slides into the ocean, and you need a Hummer to help pull it out? Gonna flip it off then? Or if you need one for space travel? To carry large payloads between Venus and the Moon? Or perhaps battle Golthor the Tyrant and his Army of the Undead? Huh? Are you gonna try that shit in your little Volkswagon Jetta? Yeah, I didn't think so.

I'm a snob. I only flip off Maybachs.

Wow, this chick is pretty damn stupid for thinking her brother was in Iraq so some slob can drive a Hummer.

Never underestimate the stupidity people in this country are capable of I guess...

Yo flick'n off chick. Don't have children and breed more stupid people.

And thank your brother for doing his duty in Iraq even though you don't have the slightest clue on what he was really for, you freaking moron.

@In Other News...:

I read your post while imagining that you were actually a Hummer driver and laughed my ass off. No offense intended though :D

@vulturesquadron: A military-issue Fiat Strada?

I like this effort's bold combination of herd-mentality with immaturity. It unequivocally delivers a powerfully artistic sociopolitical statement.

Just probably not the one they think it does.

Somebody should even out the hate and start:
IHumpedAndFlippedOffYourDullAssMidSizedSedan.com

@Bancho: I am driving a yellow Hummer with the driver side window down, my red beret almost flying off and my ascot trailing behind me like a horizontal plume of polka-dotted smoke. I look completely ridic bu totes enjoying the Cuban cigar in my mouth. I run over small animals and scream obscenities in French to throw off the environmentalists. I am heading toward my huge house in Westchester County so my beautiful Hummer can frolick with my selection of horses kidnapped from a ranch in Abu Dhabi. My manservant is preparing my wine cooler cocktail with a twist of lemon as we speak, and my lover is splayed out on the bed to facilitate her most majestic Hummer-driving lover.

@In Other News...: I think Dennis Leary did your comment in video form.

Silly twat. We didn't invade Iraq and cause the deaths of 1,000,000 of Iraqis just so entitled little dicks could drive Hummers. We also did it so suburban moms could ram anything on the road in their Tahoes and sponsors could stick their logos on modified production cars that only turn left in the death race fuel burning road rage orgies that the drooling retard masses worship as NASCAR. I flip off the whole stupid country. So...how 'bout that Carl Edwards, y'all?

Maybe next week they can go after Toyota Sequoias or one of their giant trucks but a gas guzzling Toyota probably doesn't have the same allure. I'm sure somehow that's different. They make Prius so their gas guzzlers aren't socially irresponsible like GM's. They get a free pass.

Jackasses.

I hate Hummers just about as much as I hate bicyclists who ride slowly down the middle of streets in NYC, or the ones who ignore the bike lane and ride on the other side of the street in my way.

To get a little SAT on your asses:

Hummer:Ignorant Douche::Bicycle:Self Tighteous Douche.

@BettyCrocker: The gay Denis Leary?

@Sarcastro: Thank you. I had to explain that definition of hummer less than 3 days ago to someone who only knew the negative connotations of the giant gas guzzler. That said, I've always like a hummer (traditional use).

@mytdawg: Yes, but at least a Hummer has the advantage of driving a stake through the heart of one of the stupidest corporations on the face of the planet, bar none.

A moment of seriousness. An H2 does embody what others in the world find offensive about the United States, namely: arrogance, greed, and waste.

I am proud to be an American, and the one thing I love most about this country is the freedom to criticize it, as illustrated by this string of comments, on both sides. Without criticism there can be no change and progress.

In the interest of full disclosure, I do think that H2's are offensive, socially, politically and environmentally.

Final thought: I always cringe when I see patriotism and militarism wadded together in some sort of unholy congress. Same goes for religion and patriotism.

@Trick: Wow. An actual troll. I haven't seen one of these in a while. Gawker people, please execute?

Bought the T-shirt and the rear window sticker...

@In Other News...:

You just made my "Favorite Commenter list"
:)

I gottagitouttahere. I can actually feel myself getting stupidester.

*poof* And then he was g

Undeniably, Hummers are lame, but so is this site (the FUH2 site). They should take a hint from www.venganza.org. THAT is the way to get your philosophy across. Flipping off H2's just isn't terribly clever.

Real Hummers, like H1's and military HMMWV's are nifty, but suck to drive, so anyone using one as a daily driver….needs some help.

@Mediahohoho: He has totes fabulous hair, but I think he's straight. The gay Dennis Leary is actually Margaret Cho.

@Sarcastro: It's not even the same vehicle: the Hummer here is just a cheap knockoff that looks the same but has none of the same capabilities. It's as ersatz and pretentious as they come; you will never find a real vet driving one.

@Trick: Too late for more executions?

Remember kids: Do your duty as an American. Flip off a gas guzzler today! (Don't do anything nuts like stop driving cars and get a bicycle, though! There's no catharsis in changing your behaviors. That can only come from self-righteous acting out!)

@raincoaster: I know. I was just joking.

I drive an SUV, not a Hummer, but still an American SUV. All vehicles consume fossil fuels directly, or indirectly, this argument goes a lot deeper than what we may be currently driving. I'm hoping for an organic solution, but we are not there yet. The real tool bags are the freaks that burnt down a Hummer dealership to prove an environmental point. Disgrace..

Hummers aren't really much more gas-guzzling than any other giant SUV. This article did give me a great case of the giggles this morning though. Flipping off inanimate objects is funny. Although I must agree that many men who drive oversize and or extraordinarily overprices vehicles tend to be making up for smaller things, if you catch my drift. Maybe all the fingers are just showing that the owner's manhood is smaller than said finger.