By the way, is John Mayer living in Soho these days? Saw someone who looked very much like him, down to the tattoos, at the Equinox gym on Wednesday. Fit!

Dear John Mayer,
Please stop explaining your blog posts. It makes my head hurt.
Love,
George
P.S. - You're a douche.

"Can I write a song because of somebody but not about them?"

Didn't Carly Simon already do this?

She sucked, too. So yeah, g'head John.

DOUCE.BAG. Annoying Douchebag.

"Deceptive resolution"?

Screw you, Mr. Unreliable Narrator.

Gotta love John Mayer.
My opinion - He's lonely!
John's Cure - me -

I'm thinking that I need to hit up the Soho Equinox. He can explain blog posts to me all day... and too...Spring is here. I need a toned body to match my perfect double D's.

Wow. John Mayer is so much smarter than I will ever be. But John, shouldn't "deceptive resolution" be in italics?

Every emo band does this. No really. Look how "clever" Brand New's lyrics are... Sheesh

Mayer's taking a new look at music in an old way?

That makes sense too, right?

Well.. His ego doesn't fool me. This writing technique has been done over and over and over... even by yours truly when I sang, wrote, toured.

The only thing that makes me angry is that no one picked up on this and he had to be obnoxious and post another condescending blog.

Wake me when the inevitable sex tape comes to light.

@CrosstownTraffic: You were clearly trolling for me to introduce myself to you.

Hi!

You would never hear this shit coming out of Sir Mixalot's mouth.

I thought Sheila's head would be bigger

The writer of the missive is John Mayer. The ex lover is J. Simp. If you are writing the song BECAUSE she is stalking you, that does indeed make it ABOUT her. Moron.

Sometimes I think a life altering brain injury would make certain people much more tolerable. And that statement isn't about John Mayer, just because of him.

Guilty :) sigh..do you think there is the slight chance that he does tune into Gawker and maybe entertains random hook-ups with Gawker commenters...troll-ers & all...Hi back...@TheHonJudgeSmails:

My thoughts on that post pretty much fell out of my head once I read the words John-Mayer-Soho-Equinox and I was thrusted headlong into an elaborate fantasy in which I sign up at his overpriced gym, find and casually intercept him and basically live out the Body-Is-A-Wonderland music video starring me that I've scripted in my head and have been fine-tuning for years. Although I am aware that my chances are like, 0, which I guess makes me akin to the Compunerd from the Touch My Body video but hey, I can dream.

John, I wish you were here so I could tell you to leave.

@TheHonJudgeSmails: Careful Judge, this could be a trap. It's precisely the kind of thing Kelly Kreth would say.

@crotchety: Good looking out.

@CrosstownTraffic: I must warn you: I'm neither pasty-faced nor lanky, nor can I write maudlin and self-serious pop tunes with just a dollop of rock edge for bad measure.

He's just scared Rachel Marsden will start stalking him now.

Someone give John 10 cc's of "I'm Not in Love," stat!

I thought he was embarassingly hot for a while and then I checked out his blog.

It's, it's just full of posts about stuff, like rolex watches and sneakers and blackberries.And going to conferences where he meets people who collect rolexes(the plural of rolex, apparently.)

It's a little bit looking round the room of a guy you like after he's left it and finding out he's got a stash of 'Ultimate Teapot Connoisseur' mags in a drawer...

What do you do?

@Calraigh: Flee screaming into the night. And if he calls you, send him a video of yourself doing the "I'm A Little Teapot" dance over a Rammstein thrash metal doozy.

@BettyCrocker:

Excellent advice.

But the sneakers! Oh god, there's just so many of them, big and small, colourful and not so much, you don't know the pain of it.

I think it'd have to be Slipnot actually but otherwise I'm assuming the teapot position straight away..

It's all about the BS

@Knucklehead Babylon

THE comment of the week ... at least mine.

Mayer, meet Fitzgerald Page. The biggest douches, evidently, are Johns.

I was pushed into a bathroon by publicists because of him. This was the night that he first publically revealed that he was going out with Jessica Simpson. He came to the red carpet, told the publicists he didn't want to be photographed so they pushed us in. The other publicists formed a circle around him as he walked down the red carpet. Once he was inside he posed for plenty of pictures with his lovely new girlfriend.

I wrote an "open letter" like that once. Except instead of being deliciously vague, I posted nude pictures of the bitch online.

I think it's Lisa Simpson he's referring to. They had a falling out over Ron Paul.

I don't think any of us got the point the first time. That he is Sensitive. Really Sensitive. And much, much, more intelligent than any of us can fully appreciate. It's always reassuring when a FUCKING POP STAR is kind enough to point this out for the benefit of those of us who can spell.