Sarah Larson, Random Chick From KentGeorge Clooney is dating Sarah Larson, a 28-year-old cocktail waitress from Kent, Washington. Predictably, a guy who knew Larson since grade school has a blog, and he's written a LONG history of damn near everything he knows about her, which has drawn more than a thousand comments. Today the Daily News picks it up and refers vaguely to some of the "very personal details" from Larson's past. For you, we have read the INCREDIBLY LONG blog post and condensed it down to its interesting parts. Everything you ever wanted to know (and more) about the past of George Clooney's girlfriend, below.

Everyone knew she was prone to complaining and frustration, but when [Larson's former boyfriend] "Pizza T" arrived to school at Green River Community College one day after she had punched him in the face and left noticeable proof, it took it to another level...

Sarah eventually rented a room in a house where one of our other good friends and former roommates had moved. There was a garage turned dance studio there. Sarah was still sewing up sundresses and trying to be earthy. She was studying an East Indian dance called Orisi which she would often bust out in the most innappropriate moments...

Sarah eventually hooked up with our former roommate of ours that she was living with in the new house now. Tommy found out and all hell broke loose, as you could imagine. They had been together for 6 years and it ended like that. At that point I was in a band with Pizza T and he would make all of his dramatic and drawn out phonecalls to her from my house...

I'm still friends with the guy she wound up hooking up with, in fact. I haven't even talked to Tommy in 2 years. We had a huge falling out which resulted in him blocking me from accessing our bands myspace page and posting bulletins and emails telling everyone (approx. 4,000 fans) that I had died of AIDS...

Last time that I saw Sarah was right after she hooked up with some goon named Dan Randolph. I met him twice, I think. I believe that they came into the Rang Dong once which, in it's heyday, was the greatest Vietnamese Karaoke bar of all time. He didn't seem to be very interesting or fitting. They moved to Vegas. Next I hear, she's on Fear Factor shortly after. She actually wins after that guy basically carries her. Here's where some debate comes into play. The Fear Factor site labels Sarah Larson as a "Go-Go dancer". Pizza T's letter denies this claim, but it's just wishful thinking. How would he know? Sorry but it's true. If you don't want to hear that and you believe that everything you've read on the internet is true, you can stop now. I died of AIDS 2 years ago, so who gives a shit about what I'm about to type anyway? A source I know who worked at the production company for Fear Factor told me that she was scouted Go-Go dancing. I was informed that they actually had to call her down off of a pole to offer her a spot on the show. The problem with tabloids and media is that it's like the game of telephone. Go-go dancer can be changed very easily into a stripper when skewed. From there, that get's morphed into hooker and eventually you are a crack whore murderer running a child-porn ring. Apparently, Cocktail waitress gets morphed into Actress/Model fairly easily too, because as far as anyone I know is informed, that's a load of bullshit too. That's why nobody can find anything on her, because they are typing in "actress/model" on their search engines, instead of "Random Chicks From Kent".

[DeadC.Wordpress.com]