60 Minutes and former CBS White House correspondent Lesley Stahl's breathless recounting of the "cat burglar" who broke into her apartment and stole her jewels, on the new menopausal Wowowow site, reads like a hardboiled detective drama. "'We know him,' said Detective Kenney. 'He's a serial. This is his pattern, his MO.'" It's a bit unnerving, and perhaps unbecoming, to see her going on at length about rather quotidian personal dramas; the web is an undignified place for old-media icons. But at least Stahl has a little perspective: "What I am thankful for is that our housekeeper wasn't harmed..." The NYPD actually made her a WANTED poster, so you'll want to click for that and the rest of the drama.

"They caught him! An undercover informant tipped off the cops, who found him, and put him in the clink. There was much celebrating, though none of the stolen items were found.

The case is not entirely closed. One of the construction workers had left his hard hat up on the roof that day during his coffee break. The cat put it on as part of his disguise, and then left it behind. The Crime Scene Unit forensic team is still trying to recover some DNA. That's already taken weeks. And could take more weeks.

That means: forget any chance of finding my jewelry. I've been scouring eBay like a forlorn lover. If you ever see a watch with 60 MINUTES on the face, e-mail me."

(I bought a watch matching that description on Canal Street, Lesley. Cost me 60 bucks.)