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No matter how scandalous the situations that public figures find themselves in, it seems that there will always be some people willing to rise to their defense. Groups have sprung up to save the careers of both scandalized hooker patron/ Governor Eliot Spitzer, and disgraced former Food Network celebrity chef Robert Irvine, who was outed as a big fat liar and subsequently fired. Both those guys can use all the help they can get. Unfortunately for them, the types of people who form ad hoc online groups in support of fallen idols always seem to be non-influential nutcases (like Democrats!).

The "Save Spitzer!" campaign on is truly one for the conspiracy-addled record books:

Dear Governor Spitzer,

Don't let the Republicans and the rightwing media drive you out of office!

You made a lot of powerful enemies in your career because you took on the most powerful crooks on Wall Street. Now your enemies are trying to get even by destroying your career and your life. Don't let them!

The whole investigation by the Bush Administration stinks to high heaven. This isn't a case of "structuring" or "money laundering." The FBI never investigates johns - so why are they investigating you?

The answer is obvious. George Bush and Karl Rove turned the Justice Department into the political destruction arm of the Republican Party. They've prosecuted 5.6 Democrats for every Republican.

That's why former Alabama Governor Don Siegelman is rotting in jail, and that's what they want to do to you.

As Americans, we are outraged by Bush's endless abuses of justice. If anyone should be removed from office, it's George Bush!

Governor Spitzer, please stand and fight against this outrageous and naked partisan Republican assault. We support you!

The "Save Robert Irvine!" campaign lacks the insane flair of the Democrats' grassy knoll defense of Spitzer, but it makes up for it by deploying euphemisms for "lying" that succeed only in drawing further attention to the fact that the nerdy, muscular super chef is a big fat liar:

This website was created to be the official home of the Save Robert! campaign. The goal is to have the Food Network keep Robert Irvine as the host of Dinner:Impossible, even though he might have made some mistakes in his past...

On February 17, 2008 the St. Petersburg Times reported that Robert Irvine may have mis-informed people about his past, including some of the people or projects that he worked for.

Both of these guys are toast.