MasterCard has just released a new credit card for the good people of Dubai—the good, rich, rich, rich people. The Dubai First Royale MasterCard is invitation-only, offered to a "select" group of elites who "must possess the right criteria in terms of social standing and profile." And are very rich. The card itself is diamond-studded—practical and functional. It offers benefits like a huge credit line and a personal concierge. Neither you nor we shall ever have one of these. Sob. Below, a guide to other deluxe credit cards neither of us will ever be invited to own; press your nose to the glass and salivate at the pretty, pretty plastic.
The Sotheby's World Elite Mastercard is only available to those with over $2 million in assets, and offers you the ability to get your very own Sotheby's auctioneer. You will never have this.
The American Express Black Card requires $250,000 a year in Amex spending and offers round-the-clock concierge services, private shoppers, and international health care. Not for you.
The Bank of America/ Amex Accolades card targets exclusive wealthy private banking clients with services like travel arrangements, global concierge, and charitable donation matching. Not that you'll ever get to enjoy it.
The Citibank Ultima card offers selected players in emerging markets perks like exclusive access to private islands. Good luck, buddy.