Barbara Walters Demands Explanation For Past Decade of Celebrity History

Reality show star and buttocks-haver Kim Kardashian was on The View this morning, prompting Barbara Walters, famous interviewer and the last Civil War widow, to ask the most important question of the modern age: "Why are you famous?" Then, later "But what do you do?" Kardashian sputtered out a response about knowing famous people and about her little fashions while stepfather Bruce Jenner (father of Brody, from The Hills! It's all connected!) sat idly by (and looked like plastic).

Elisabeth Hasselbeck, the dim conservative who is a discredit to my alma mater, tried to rescue Kim a bit, probably because she herself became famous for no particular reason. Though, trying to help by assessing the notoriety of Kardashian's hindquarters and declaring that she and her boyfriend (footballer Reggie Bush) are known as "Bush & Tush" was pretty backhanded. Then the conversation wandered over to Bruce and why he's got so many damn kids, but eventually Barbara brought it back to the (NSFW) sex tape, delivering one final embarrassment. I'm beginning to like the old broad! [The Superficial]