Last night was the Celebrity Rehab reunion show. Your at-a-glance scorecard:
· Still sober: Brigitte Nielsen and Ricco Rodriguez;
· Still in denial: Chyna Joanie Doll-Laurer;
· Absent: Daniel Baldwin (not invited) and Jessica Sierra (currently back in treatment under Dr. Drew's care);
· Fresh off 3-day crack-out bender: Seth Binzer.
And then there is Jeff Conaway and Vikki Lizzi, the Stanley and Stella Kowalski of the Pasadena Recovery Center, whose every high-decibel, wheelchair-flinging domestic squabble was recorded for posterity by the ever-present reality cameras.
In the evening's tensest moment, Conaway (fresh off four unspecified surgeries, and currently welded to some kind of hi-tech plastic exoskeleton) looked on helplessly as his ruby-lipped enabler was attacked by Nielsen, who had the gall to suggest the woman who smuggled a VitaminWater bottle of purple-tinted vodka into her husband's detox facility might be harboring her own addiction issues. We admit, we had hoped for better things for the couple—Jeff claims he's off the coke and booze, and is just "sticking to what they give me," (translation: "I've given up on trying to swallow all those fucking L-Ron brand vitamin horse-pills, and I'm not off the coke and booze")—but for now, at least, we'll close the chapter on Vikki & Kenickie's improbable love story on a high note, by revisiting a performance of their smashed single, "Krazee."