Gawker
Just as St. Patrick drove the snakes from Ireland, four thousand years ago today, we are expelling some commenters on this fine Irish morning. Some were nasty or offensive, others rather obtuse and pigheaded. Some were nominated by you, others sealed their own fate when they hit "submit comment." Others still remain, slithering their way around the site, but rest assured that we'll catch you. Now, where's our parade? Find the banished after the jump.
- JakobLodwik, because we don't think he's real.
- TheBigDoggy, because of this and this.
- badgertale, because we are scared of Carrie's mother and other nuts.
- IronSheik, because you asked for it, and we don't disagree.
- Arundel, for failing to see the difference between gossip and fact.
- mitchel_stevens, for failing to maintain perspective.
- freeoverunders, because eww.
Comments
Aww, Mitchel_Stevens...
Yeah, I think I was harassed by all these commenters in middle school.
Invoking Jen Chung should carry a penalty far worse than mere banning.
I stayed on target and my wish was granted...
I did not originally see freeoverunders comment and it looks like I didn't miss anything. Blech!
Eww indeed. And dexterous, if may say so myself.
Arundel and mitchel_stevens...sad.
Oh well, back to trying to figure out what happened to Bear Stearns over the weekend and whether it's connected to that crane. Working theory: yes.
@lawyergay: Indeed -- I feel bad for both of them!
Snakes? Is it Whacking Day already?
It's always good to research suicidal methods. If only to avoid the Gawker Darwin awards.
Happy St. Patrick's Day and I agree with the eww on that last one. I've felt skeeved since I read that comment.
Tough room.
Nonetheless, ff you can't afford a Brazilian, I recommend trying freeoverunders' technique with a transistor radio.
The image of the drunken ape-man atop a keg of gunpowder is pleasing.
One need use the word "whore" only once to get a point across, methinks.
I always get so nervous when the commentator executions come up and am shocked when I'm not on them.
I think this is because they usually happen around 3 p.m. my time and I'm not allowed to take my second Xanax of the day until 3:30 p.m. so this is like the "paranoid crazy time."
I think freeoverunders was just trying to be servicey.
I don't want to be executed (again) for askin...how do I get that shiny star next to my name? I'm totally jealous.
@SinisterRouge on Notice!: I think you have to travel back in time to an earlier post and write the word "star" (or variation thereof) and get Richard to notice. Sadly, I don't have a time machine I can lend you... said Ben Bernanke. Rimshot!
@SinisterRouge on Notice!: Are those new?
@contradicto: I wish all Gawker Media blogs would nuke the dementos who bitch bitterly about either the site itself or the person who posted the item. The shoot-the-messenger people drive me fucking crazy. And the star people, of course.
@In Other News...: Shit! I've been up Jezebel's ass for way too long. Time to return to my first home.
@rod: I dunno but they look so shiny and nice!
You do know that the snakes thing is a myth and the only native reptile to Ireland is, ironically, the sloth.
Please note we are of Irish decent, so don't go calling us anti-Irish.
Can anyone else hear the parade from their office?
@fiveinchtaint: No. I'm like 6 blocks down. But I've already seen about 10 drunken Irishmen on their way over...
@fiveinchtaint: I almost slipped in a puddle of vomit at 8 am and was propositioned by an obese gentleman wearing green paint in lieu of a shirt. He left a green back-shaped blubber print on the FOX news building.
@SinisterRouge on Notice!: I can only describe what I'm hearing as dissonance, but I'd rather be there than here right now.
@hamburgerhotdog: Oh shit! Last Thursday...on my way to work? I did. I stepped and fell knee-down into a pile of warm vomit. Yeah, sexy.
@hamburgerhotdog: Alright, that's it. I'm going to "run an errand." This needs to be witnessed. My quarter Irish needs some parade time.
I was hoping more people would get the axe. Can this be a daily thing?
@hamburgerhotdog: He left a green back-shaped blubber print on the FOX news building.
That image actually made my Monday un-sucky for a while. God bless ye.
@fiveinchtaint: No but I walk through Grand Central to get to work and it was not difficult at all going into the office when there were hundreds of screaming revelers and a cordon of Irish bagpipers playing in the main hall. Oh, to see the deadened faces of the army of commuters going up the escalator of doom into the Metlife building, straining to catch one last glance at the bacchanalia below, almost made it all worth it.
test
testing
yep, gone
@IHateWhatYouHaveOn: there's a big backlog to get through, so keep your head down...
All I want for Christmas is a great cull on Jezebel.
Darnit, I held off so long... but those stars really are so shiny. Please?
thank you for the removal Richard and Nick
damn. once again i'm a teenager and even my suicide attempt ended in failure.
@fiveinchtaint: yep! all these damn bagpipes. nothing says monday morning like funeral music.
@Unfun: That sounds like something out of a Powell and Pressburger movie. Did you say "top of the mornin'!" to a green-faced David Niven per chance?
Also - your usage of the word "bacchanalia" at 11am on a Monday morning made my heart skip a beat. I'm posting you a little grey star to stick on your monitor beside all your comments.
@BalknChain: The backlash to the backlash hath begun.
Can I have Dr. Bobby remove my star? Can I get free zit popping for mentioning him here?
@hamburgerhotdog: Commie nommie. Erin Go Blargh also.
@Unfun: I just watched for 15 minutes. Pretty cool, but also frightening. The nice little families and military folk/police/firemen juxtaposed with Irish and clearly non-Irish assholes screaming and forcing a little old man to stop and take a picture with them while calling him a "pimp" then catcalling the all-girl high school marching band. Ahhh celebration!
The Big Doggy probably had to be put to sleep for referring to Gawker editors as jerk-offs. But he did manage to call Pinch a pimp, and for that I'm grateful.
@SinisterRouge on Notice!: Oh, so I see YOU have a star now! I thought we were best friends! You've joined the star clique?!?! After all our years of friendship you dump me for them?
Bitch!
@BalknChain: Oh, so I see YOU have lost your star now!! So you're coming over to the cool-kid clique! Nice! Those star people are elitist tools anyway! We may not be as stylish and beautiful over here, but we are like WAY smarter and cooler! I might even show you my tits just to welcome you!
@Unfun: I'm a couple blocks away from you. On my way in this morning, there there was a bus dropping off a gaggle of bagpipers in front of my building. I high-tailed it into the lobby before they could start ululating. The helicopters are distracting, too.
@VirusWithShoes: @fiveinchtaint: Would y'all stop being adorable, what with references to filmmakers I don't recognize, use of cute britishisms like "post" instead of "mail" and images of somewhat detached but bemused observance of Irish-American rites of drunkenness, you're both killing me here. I'm trying to work, which requires suppression of all desire and emotion. God, you fucking people.
@Tippi from Toronto: But...wait...does that mean I have to take my Abercrombie sweater back? Is it cool now to not have a star? The cool changes around here so much I don't even know what to wear any more! Sigh. That's it. I'm going back to the alley behind the cafeteria to play hackey sack and smoke.
Oh man. Freeoverunders. Pure class, that guy.
@Maya_Twocents: It's probably ironic now. And undesirable. Especially since I got one. Cuz I'm totes uncool in every way.
What's so "discusting" about whores? I love whores, from every industry.
@SinisterRouge is so uncool it's hellsa cool: and that's a tough thing to pull off.
If you need a toke, you know where to find me.
@Tippi from Toronto: copy cat loser. oh and by the way, kelly kreth's star that you asked about over the weekend? a cheap knock-off from canal street.
@the supergoddess: (OMG RICHARD TAKE MY STAR AWAY RIGHT NOW! LOOK WHAT IT'S DOING TO ME!!!)(but don't really because it's pretty and I like shiny things!)
@fiveinchtaint: Sounds like your typical St. Patrick's Day to me.
Though I actually went to Mass on St. Patrick's day, in Ireland, and heard it in Gaelic. I'm not even Catholic. I win!
@Maya Twocents:
I think you need to have had one and then have had it taken away. So damned complicated.