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It brings us no pleasure to inform you that Thomas Jane, star of the non-Dolph Lundgrenian version of The Punisher and husband of Patricia Arquette, was arrested early this morning for driving under the influence of a social lubricant. The details, as we know them so far:

Jane, whose real name is Thomas Elliot, was nabbed in Kern County, Calif. by CHP officers. He has been charged with DUI and driving with a blood alcohol level above .08% — both misdemeanors.

CHP tells TMZ Jane was stopped in a late-model Maserati for driving at "an extremely high rate of speed" on I-5. We're told he failed several field sobriety tests, including a breathalyzer. Cops also say he was also driving with a suspended license.

A cooperative Jane was taken to the pokey and he's already out. His arraignment is set for April 9th.

Let Mr. Jane's poor judgment be a cautionary tale for all of you planning on celebrating the ancient Celtic rite of the Drink-'Til-You-Puke Festival: Law enforcement is out in force. As is our custom in these matters, we'll update with a mugshot just as soon as one becomes available; we feel compelled to warn you, however, that Jane's rugged, slightly menacing features should lend themselves well to the medium, producing none of the surprise, awwww-inducing pleasures of, say, celebrity booking photos of toking, castaway gnomes.