GET OUT OF MY HEAD.

Clooney?

Mickey Rooney.

I disagree with you. What about lists B through Z?

What A-lister puts his D in underage V? IC.

All of them?

Gee, thanks for depriving some lucky commenter of the easy joke.

Peter 'Mr. Big Piece of Shit' Noth

Nicholson. Of course.

Guys, hello. It's somebody named Alister?

Oh, you made a funny, Richard! Gawker is like a joke book I used to buy at a book fair in 3rd grade sometimes!

From this week's "Personality Parade" column in Sunday-newspaper supplement Parade magazine:

Q: Why does George Clooney date women half his age, like Sarah Larson?

A: Because he can.

Everyone except Ashton Kutcher.

Jonah Hill?

(too soon?)

Charlton Heston.

Um, James Woods FTW.

i call bullshit. they're all gay. every man jack of them.

@CodePink: You mean the ones with jokes like this:

Q: Why was the Tomato blushing? A: Because he saw the salad dressing.

Which Hollywood starlet has a reputation for being a cokehead?
Which perky male media personality has a reputation for loving cock?
Which aged former b lister has a reputation for getting plastic surgery?
Which rockstar has a reputation for bedding fans he meets back stage?
Which blind item writer has a reputation for penning items so lazy and open ended they could apply to almost anyone?

Uhh, which of them isn't?
(Except for Ashton Kutcher, who apparently read the equation backwards.)(Not that he's A-list, but he's on a list.)

@ADismalScience: SOMETIMES I JUST HAVE TO HAVE IT.

I know Hope Davis wishes Abe Vigoda would back the fuck up off her.

@collegecallgirl: That actually made me laugh. Be mine. (Well, ours).

@TedSez: I hate Personality Parade and yet I cannot look away. The questions are always phrased like the person is 75 and always include painfully obvious, extraneous info like: Michael Douglas won an Oscar for Wall Street and was previously married to Diandra Douglas. He is now married to Catherine Zeta-Jones and looks like he's had a facelift. Has he admitted plastic surgery?

@collegecallgirl: That tomato is a fucking pervert and should be arrested. His full name?--Tomatomygodmydickshahdfromwatchingsaladundress.

@Go Like Hell Machine: I think Nicholson only goes after women a third his age.

Dillon Freasier

@Richard: Yeah, I heard that about you too. Sometimes, we all do. It's very natural.

@Nard38: That reminds me of the time Conrad Bain hit on Lisa Whelchel.

@Richard: Don't forget your roots, kid.

Is Sebastian Cabot dead? Oh, who the fuck cares. Sebastian Cabot.

Sean Connery-who else??

Here is a joke:
What do you call giving head to leaves?
Foliagio.

Oh, and does this mean I have to be an A-list actor to like younger women??

William Demarest

@scroll_lock: No, William Frawley.

I heard Kermit has a thing for bobby sox. He calls them "his special tadpoles in the casting pond".

Fess Parker.

Methinks we should widen our scope beyond just "actors"; Lisanti would be heartbroken to see Ratner left off this list!

@mathnet: Ha!

Also, I KNEW that Masterpiece Theatre shill was a sleazebag.

@scroll_lock: This is eerily like the time Gavin MacLeod took Jill Whelan out for dinner, a movie and a drive up to Inspiration Point.

@scroll_lock: William Conrad.

@KarenUhOh: William Bendix.

@scroll_lock: Or maybe like the time Hume Cronyn got really angry after his date with Dominique Dunne didn't go so well? I wonder whatever happened to her.

@KarenUhOh: Kaiser Wilhelm.

@procrastinator, esq.: Also not unlike the time Brian Keith took Anissa Jones out for a bottle of pop, some poppers, and popped her cherry.

@KarenUhOh: Mike Connors

@scroll_lock: I read it for "Howard Huge."

@procrastinator, esq.: Reminds me of the time Robert Young accompanied Lauren Chapin to the back row of a gladiator movie matinee.

I've said it once, and I'll say it again. Bea Arthur.

Did you hear about the nightclub where it was so dark Jack Nicholson almost hit on his own daughter? Luckily, she was far too old for him.

@TedSez: Shh, I'm busy coming up with a brainteaser for "Ask Marilyn." Bitch.

@scroll_lock: Barnaby Jones.

@Social Light: just don't say it three times or she'll appear.

@KarenUhOh: Karl Malden. He loved the underage streetwalkers of San Francisco.

@KarenUhOh: Jack Lord.

Well it better not be Ralph Fiennes, because I told him that if he even so much as LOOKS at another woman, it's over.

Of course then I would be free to return George Clooney's calls ...

@scroll_lock: Jack Lord used to let Kam Fong watch. They didn't call him "Chin Ho" for nuthin.

@scroll_lock: Jack Webb.

@KarenUhOh: and his Harry Morgan.

Zac Efron

@KarenUhOh: HA!!!

Efrem Zimbalist, Jr.

Hal Linden

Don Ameche.

Peter Falk. You have to keep an eye on him with the young ones.

Rip Torn.