Back in October, the horny boys over at Maxim decided to morph into bitchy girls and rank their picks for the top five "unsexiest" women in Hollywood. And while some of their choices are semi-understandable (no offense to our troubled Britney Spears, but we would've ranked her higher than #5), their number one pick has responded to the listing in a very teary fashion. Sarah Jessica Parker was voted #1; as the struggling lad mag's editors put it, "How the hell did this Barbaro-faced broad manage to be the least sexy woman in a group of very unsexy women and still star on a show with 'sex' in the title?" But after six months of stewing in her own misery, SJP is fighting back:

"It's so brutal in a way, so filled with rage and anger...Do I have big fake boobs, Botox and big lips? No. Am I really the unsexiest women in the world? Wow! It's insane."

Now this is just sad. We have to side with Sarah and echo her "Wow!" considering the gorgeous faces deemed sexier than SJP by the in-need-of-glasses folks at Maxim. True, they did come out with their list before Amy's face became rampant with impetigo last week, but Amy wasn't exactly photogenic before scabs took over her face. And Sandra? She's definitely cute, but when it comes to "sexy," she's not tightening the trousers of any guys we know. Then there's Madonna's thoroughly cut, but intimidating, biceps, and well, you know, Britney Spears of late. We're not typically ones to side with a mildly insulted millionaire in tears, but in this case, we're on Team Parker.

• SJP MIFFED AT MAXIM [PageSix.com]
• SARAH JESSICA VOTED 'UNSEXIEST WOMAN' BY MAXIM [Celebitchy]

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