Kirstie Alley Hopes Her New Talk Show Turns Out More Like 'Tyra', Less Like 'Gabrielle'

The last time Kirstie Alley appeared on daytime television (flaunting her slim-ish new frame on Oprah), we applauded the self-proclaimed Fat "Actress" for keeping up her promise to Jenny Craig. But after squirming through the appearance, we ultimately decided one daytime appearance was enough for us to stomach. Kirstie, however, seems to disagree. People is reporting that Alley has just signed a deal with Oprah's Harpo production company to host her very own daytime show (in addition to other potentially televised projects). As Alley herself put it, "Nothing shocks me. I'm a great listener. I'm a good comedian. And I won't lie - I live a beautiful life." But considering the ill fates of both Megan Mullally's and Gabrielle Carteris' attempts to lure housewives into their femme-angled daily circle of televised love, we have to wonder whether or not Kirstie's destined for cancellation, or fierce enough to carry on the tradition of fellow slim-ish daytime host Tyra Banks...

As we all know, Megan's daytime show with a confusing chit-chat theme about all topics under the sun (we assume she was angling for Oprah's spot in the limelight, but why, Megan, why?) was swiftly canceled over a year ago, marking her post-Will And Grace comeback a quasi-disaster. And then there was the case of comeback-seeking Gabrielle Carteris, who debuted Gabrielle in 1995, only to have it canceled within a year. (But hey! She kinda "came back" on The Surreal Life along with Corey Feldman in 2005, right? Well, nevermind.)

But there is one daytime diva whose footsteps Kirstie might consider following, and those footsteps belong to Miss Tyra. The secret to Tyra's success remains a mystery to us, but her repeated usage of fat suits to prove that some kind of fatist conspiracy theory exists seems to keep viewers tuning in. While we doubt Kirstie would dare chub up for the cameras, we'd advise her to force her audience members into the sweaty contraptions.