CNN Anchor and America's Boyfriend Anderson Cooper wrote on his show's blog today that he's been absent for a couple days because he was undergoing "minor surgery" to remove "a small spot of skin cancer" from under his left eye. He'll be back on the air tonight, and he is informing the public of the surgery only so that we don't suspect the stitches are the result of "a fist fight with Charlie Rose." Oh, Anderson. We wouldn't assume that. We'd dream it. [AC360 via HuffPo]

Send an email to Alex Pareene, the author of this post, at alexp@gawker.com.