Gawker
Miley Cyrus, who plays (is? What?) Hannah Montana, is harming children. No, not with her music! (But, yes with her music.) She's actually hurting them through her branded toys and accessories, which, like every other fun thing in the world, are becoming increasingly deadly. You see, various items in the Hannah Montana line of products, specifically those with vinyl in them, were found by the Center for Environmental Health to contain high levels of lead. (Though, really what item meant for children doesn't, these days.) The CEH called it a "poison plastic," deftly summing up every celebrity currently idolized by the tweenagers. So parents! That Hannah Montana purse or knapsack or full-body fetish suit that your ten-year-old child has should not be ingested or touched or anything. Oh, and while you're at it, please tell her (or him) to stop licking that Zac Efron doll. Because, you know. [CNNMoney via OhNoTheyDidn't] If the lead poisoning has not yet killed your child, the video after the jump just might do the trick.
Miley Cyrus Aims To Kill Your Children
2:40 PM on Thu Mar 20 2008
By Richard
1,507 views
15 comments
Comments
Yeah and I, for one, am offended by the Hanna Montana Training Thong TM
It's only a matter of time before her father is controlling her assets to quell her crack addiciton.
Intervention! The Miley Cyrus Story.
Confession:
I was in a Targét in NJ last Sunday morning and ran smack dab into an end cap of Miley Merch. Lunch boxes, notebooks, back packs, etc.
Most remarkable thing I noticed?
Her teeth looked quite yellow on most of the products.
Ewwwww!
but the lead-enriched singing tampons really add some splash to tween's my otherwise humdrum day.
I'll do the bone dance with her. Word?
@lothario: Wordless.
I have a popular hit show called, If The Shoe Fits Massachusetts.
mmm. she will make the corn harvest delicious this year.
@mitchel_stevens: Glad to see you back.
oh weird. i just finished doing the bone dance in a starbucks bathroom. with a consensual partner of course.
My Monkees lunch box used to spontaneously burst into flames and no one batted an eye. Kids today.
Hmmm...yeah...still better than everything on Nickelodeon.
@LolCait:
My time-out was worth the two days of work I managed to catch up on.
and i'll drunk-comment again. wait. never drunk-comment again.
Ease up on her. Her dad survived one of the biggest mullets in human history plus the worst hit record in human history. They get survivor credits.
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