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While having yet to really deliver on her post-incarceration pledge to feed the hungry Darfricans of Rwandonia, Paris Hilton did finally manage to make it to the African subcontinent yesterday, accompanying boyfriend Benji Madden to Johannesburg as he toured with his band Good Charlotte. Once there, she refused to step foot out of her Range Rover caravan until handlers agreed to "show me some African orphans like the one Madonna bought or whatever," at which point Hilton was whisked to the Jacaranda Children's Home, where she signed a stack of photographs featuring the humanitarian star of The Hottie or the Nottie striking a seductive pose in a white bikini. (A gesture which only confused some of the younger children, who proceeded to gnaw on the headshot, assuming it was was some kind of flatbread ration.)

Hilton's journeys continue until the end of the month; if you'd like to know exactly where Paris's Global Safari of Peace is at any given moment—distributing fragrance samples to those who need it most while smuggling elephant shrew or two into a Louis Vuitton carry-on— has obtained a copy of her day-by-day itinerary. Good news for the citizens of Istanbul: She's coming your way to judge Miss Turkey 2008!