• Announcement: Author, former Page Six-er, Gawker gadfly, and noted fighter (just like Hillary!) Ian Spiegelman will be taking on Gawker's weekend shift, starting tomorrow. It should be a trip.
  
• New York's brand-new governor David Paterson, the first black and blind man to attain that position, revealed that New York will not give up the scandal crown. New York City continued to fall apart.
  
• As everyone attempted to cash in on the high-priced call girl who took down our previous governor (and who may or may not be Scott Storch), a large financial institution sort of collapsed, despite the best efforts of mad man Jim Cramer. Bear Stearns was now worth the amount your grandmother puts in your birthday card, more or less. Their website, though, survived, unlike Page Six's. Black Monday! Black every goddamn day this week, despite incidents of unforgivable whiteness.
  
• Charlize Theron does not watch The Hills, she says, but we do.
  
• Related: David Letterman used the word "frenemy", so maybe there is some hope for this crazy old world, after all.
  
• New York continued to look quite pretty, even the bits weighed down with oppresive symbolism, though the fictional version is, these days, more inspiring.
  
• Charlie Rose and Anderson Cooper did not get into a fight, though Cooper, who is looking fine, did play "footy" with David Beckham (on THE PITCH).
  
• Did we mention white people? So did Barack Obama. You might've heard something! We opined, they opined, and one man leapt across three sets of subway tracks to save another man's life.
  
• Obsessions, this week: Malcom Gladwell's storytelling, Parker Posey's devil dog, and Sebastian Horsley, the memoirist of 1,000 whores.
  
• Gossip is dead! So is the Internet, which died so young. All that's left is commenting and commenting about commenting and sometimes not commenting.
  
• America's Vaginas are Sad / Our Penises Broken.

Send an email to Alex Pareene, the author of this post, at .