Roger Stone Knew Guv's Terrible Secret, According to Roger Stone

Roger Stone, GOP dirty trickster, attempts to reinsert himself into the news as often as possible. And as the man is a proud Nixonite, you can't ever actually believe a goddamn word he says. But the Miami Herald reported this weekend that Stone wrote a letter to the FBI last November informing them that former New York Governor Eliot Spitzer enjoyed the company of expensive call girls. Also: "Governor Spitzer did not remove his mid-calf length black socks during the sex act." Good to know! Who is Roger Stone, and why, exactly, was he concerned about the sexual deviancy of the governor of New York? Read on!

Seemingly self-appointed Republican "strategist" Roger Stone began his illustrious career pulling dirty tricks for Dick Nixon at the age of 19. He later served as post-resignation Nixon's "man in Washington," and competed with noted asshole Lee Atwater to see who could be more repellent and quasi-legal in support of Ronald Reagan's reelection. According to, well, Stone himself, he was responsible for disrupting the 2000 Florida recount. Recently he started an anti-Hillary Clinton organization called C.U.N.T.. That little scheme followed Stone's perfected model of gaining attention and press for himself, generally to the detriment of whatever cause he is ostensibly supporting, which is why it is best to take all of his grandiose claims of political sophistication with large grains of salt.

Last August, someone calling from Roger Stone's New York apartment called Eliot Spitzer's dad and left a crazy, sweary message. Once the details of the call were released to the media, Stone declared that it wasn't him at all, as he was attending a performance of Frost/Nixon the night the call was made. Frost/Nixon didn't have a performance that night, but whatever. Then Stone claimed to have gotten a tattoo of Richard Nixon's face, because the story was not yet crazy enough for his liking.

Stone sent the letter after the FBI called him up to maybe ask about that sweary phone call. Stone's response, of course, was to have lawyers send them a letter about Spitzer's whoring. "'Mr. Stone respectfully declines to meet with you at this time,' the letter states, before going on to offer 'certain information' about Spitzer." Of course, the banking investigation that eventually led to the Emperors Club bust was already underway by November, so even if the date on the letter is accurate, who knows if it had any effect.

The whole thing could be bullshit, but at least it's well-crafted bullshit. The socks!

Beach man told FBI of alleged Spitzer sexscapades [Miami Herald]