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While we're mildly impressed by the $1 million take in limited release for the bourgeoisie torture-snuff opus Funny Games (especially considering the overwhelmingly negative reviews), no story speaks higher of director Michael Haneke's success than that of one Kate Johnson, who recently gave new meaning to "box-office gross" following her trip to the movies:

Finally when it was over and my "friend" looked like a deer in the headlights — I was physically sick. I demanded my money back from the box office only to have the girl laugh at me — at first. I threw up on the floor right in front of her — and it splattered.

She gave me the money, helped me clean up and actually cried. My "friend" was embarrassed by my behavior — and therefore has lost my friendship. This whole last scene (starring me, my friend, the cashier at the box office), seemed a sequel to the movie.

The cashier wasn't the only one crying at Ms. Johnson's spontaneous vomiting. At his critic-proofed compound at an undisclosed location outside Paris, Haneke himself was said to have dabbed a tear after hearing of his film's gastrointestinal havoc — particularly the "splatter" that upgraded the episode to Category Three haz-mat levels in a multiplex lobby packed with families that just wanted to unwind with Horton Hears a Who. Overjoyed sobs ensued upon word of Ms. Johnson's terminated relationship, with the proud filmmaker eventually proposing a revived, "Funny Games: Share Your Lunch With Friends" marketing push. [Via MCN]