Gawker
Girls Gone Wild pioneer Joe Francis profiled by enemy-of-Gawker and columnist Joel Stein? Sign us up! For coach ticket to a nation with no magazines or newspapers or late night cable advertisements! Francis, you may recall, was in jail for a couple months for tax evasion and being a scummy sonuvabitch. He and Stein apparently go way back! We learn so much about Francis, like how he is "a different class" than the other people in jail, and how his ADD often leads people to "mistake him for a coke addict" (heaven forfend!), and also he is just like Rosa Parks. This is page two of the five-page story, btw, and we refuse to go any further. [GQ via Radar]
Joe Francis: American Hero
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5:54 PM on Mon Mar 24 2008
By Pareene
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12 comments
Comments
It still made me despise him more...
If by "being a different class" he means he has a pussy.. then he's so right on.
Can someone hook this guy up with Mary Rambin in time for the show?
So much more appealing on That's Amore!
He was a "different class" in jail because he was bubba's lil bitch.
Hate him bad, he is such a low life scum bag, he will come back in his next incarnation as a pile of cockroach shit.
"There's a restaurant inside where low-risk inmates among the population of 1,100 can learn to make sandwiches ..."
Are they low-risk because they have hands made entirely of thumbs and have been hermetically sealed inside of the rock that shelters you from sandwich-making technology your whole life?
Huh. It was actually kind of good. That's fucked up.
ADD in this instance meaning Attention Demanding Disorder
It is true that Joel Stein got the ugliest quotes in the universe out of Francis, but, why then, was he compelled to kiss his ass in every other sentence? And why, if Francis defeats every man to test his manhood, did Stein omit Francis' "weakest" moment? You know, when that hoodlum with ties to Paris Hilton broke into his house and sodomized Francis with a pistol or whatever?
I guess it could be argued that Francis' whole life is a "weakest" moment, marauding around America filming drunk teen girls, then taunting their boyfriends. Or what about the female LA Times reporter he practically beat the shit out of? That was top-shelf!
The joke is on us though, as usual. Francis has more money than all of us, and his jail stint was nicer than the rest of our crummy existences.
Ummm... Is this piece of human trash still "rapey"? I like when he gets called "rapey."
It's too bad he's not in a real jail. I think we need a revival of the story about him being forced to stick a d*ldo in his *ss.
Love, love, love the DNW tag!
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