Is There One Funny Joke in McSweeney's Joke Book?

The McSweeney's Joke Book of Book Jokes landed on our desk today, and damned it we couldn't use a laugh right now! But are there any to be had? The first bad sign is the book's design: the back of the book, with bar code, etc., is actually on the front. Ha-ha. Get it? And then, on the other side, there is a raw chicken (turkey?) leaning against a wall, smoking a cigarette through the hole left by its decapitated head. Uh... We'll excerpt a few jokes, and you may decide if they're funny, or just funny-heh.

Joke #1: "Holden Caulfield Gives the Commencement Speech to His High School," by Andrew Tan

"You're all a bunch of goddamn phonies."
This is a classic, usually unhumorous device, called "in which the title is longer than the actual joke, etc."


Joke #2: from "Bedtime Stories by [Radiohead's] Thom Yorke", by David Hart
When we eat, it's fun to have our manners eat with us! Wear your napkin on your lap and don't hit your sister, even if she throws peas at you. Reason your reasons, razors shave the planet clean. Blood fills the rivers, clogs the tubes. I want to die, eat your ice cream.
Joke #3: from "Winnie-the-Pooh is My Co-Worker," by John Moe
"I've been training Winnie for three days now and I'm ready to kill him. I showed him how the spreadsheets are updated on the network, and he just stared at me with this blank expression. I tried to demonstrate the copy machine, but he somehow got his head stuck in one of the slots... Honestly, is the best recruiting could do? Kirk thinks Winnie might be someone's cousin or something. Not a bad explanation, except that we don't have any other yellow bears working here."