Wield your power, She-Ra!

Denton, why are you posting as Sheila now?

@Conbon: Hahaha, you win.

@TheHonJudgeSmails: Yeah, name a name, for crying out loud. Punish!

@Conbon: I always though Denton was more of an Intermix gal.

You'd be a bitch too if you hadn't eaten in three weeks.

Sheila, next time that happens, a well-intoned "Excuse me, but who's the one working in retail?" might do the trick.
(No offense to those working in retail who are polite and do a fine job of it)

No is LINDSAY posting as Sheila after trying to return that tubetop from the photo? 'Cause, I mean, that's clearly a protein stain and I'm pretty sure that's a return dealbreaker.

Aw. Name names. That's more fun.

You know who's really bitchy? The clerks at Carolina Herrera. Someone needs to remind them that they work retail.

@PimpMyCouch: Yeah right!

@PimpMyCouch: It's like Ab Fab when Edina gets dissed in a gallery - "Cut the attitude - you work in a shop."

That's the most Sichastic thing I've seen in a long while!

Whenever I put on my "Bossy Voice" people tend to lay down at my feet. You can borrow it sometime if you want.

Did you try slapping her? That often works.

I find rolling my eyes right back and saying "um...hi...(point at self)customer!" in the same bitchy drawl employed by the self-important sweater folder works wonders.
They are all terrified of involving the manager who controls their work schedule and thus their destiny.

@NinaHagen: I know, right? I mean, I've had crummy jobs too, but I never thought to cop attitude just because I worked at a certain store. It's just tacky.

Tell those bitches at J Crew they are one bad attitude away from a transfer to Short Hills.

It's like they think you're some kind of criminal. Oh sorry, Sheila.

I too have found it difficult to return unused items to SoHo businesses, especially the restaurants. They also really frown on exchanges, even when you return the duck confit with a better sauce that made yourself.

Isn't the retail service everywhere in New York totally bitchy/unhelpful? How many times have you asked a store clerk a question and back, "Wait, wha' happen?"

"We believe in having fun with fashion and invite you to bring your own experience and creativity to the clothes and your pinkyotto experience, but don't even think about returning shit."

Having worked in retail in Soho before, I can say that if a clerk is being a bitch, she's probably just pissed off about all the retarded Europeans she has to deal with day in and day out.

more importantly:
Nick Denton hates Razor Scooters
[www.vimeo.com]

@marvel girl: Just about every comment on this post has been fantastic, as well as the post itself, but instead of congratulating every commenter individually, I just want to agree with marvel girl that, yes, the Europeans CAN EAT MY CAT'S ASS.

@mitchel_stevens:
seriously, i can embed youtube but not vimeo? sigh.

Nothing is worse than a Duane Reade girl having a bad day. Hell hath no fury!

@Nic Fit: When I went to New York last, everyone there was really friendly. Though I'm admittedly a bit of a Pollyanna, so...

One time I went to Orvis on 5th Ave to return a pair of pants but it seems that everybody who shops at Orvis already owns their entire collection and wears it when they go shopping there so I couldn't tell who was a shopper and who was an employee. So I left. I still have the pants, and haven't worn them, because I am not a big game hunter. I would like to know why all these Orvis shoppers are in midtown Manhattan dressed for fly-fishing expeditions. When the ice at the Rockefeller Center skating rink melts, are there trout underneath?

@Rosie4Prez: The worst part is that you have to wait in line fifteen minutes for her to be a bitch to you, since hers is the only register open.

Go cut tha bitch!

@Conbon: I'd like you to know I enjoyed this story? So I've been working on a river-runs-through-it witticism? Here.

The WORST however are the GUYS who work at that absurd store Freemans Sporting Club....which is adjacent to Freemans restaurant on LES, which is also populated by the bitchiest staff on earth. Stop in the store and look for the guy with the gray hair and bad English accent, like a Will Ferrell character.

@moff: If I'm not mistaken, in several corners of the EU it's considered a delicacy.

@mathnet: Would you like to buy a pair of pants?

Well at Wal-Mart all the employees are so nice and friendly. They greet you coming in, help you find whatever you need and thank you on your way out.
I guess the key to happiness is minimum wage, no benefits and no hope for a better future.

They need a visit from the Cholo girls...

@tominjersey: What Wal-Mart are you shopping at? The greeter at mine can barely speak, and most of the employees are surly and unpleasant. I'd sooner count a purchase as a loss than try to return it there.

I too have noticed that many of the shops in SoHo and Nolita have a very German approach to service. And I don't mean that in a Nazi way. As it happens, everyone shop worker in Germany is a fucking asswich. Or Asswitch. Don't even try to return anything. And don't ask questions while your shopping. It exhausts them.

@ambitious: Stockholm too.

Worst. Service. Ever.

Ah, this is why I love shopping in Jersey City. They really don't care what you return, or when, or what's on it; they barely look at you or the receipt. It's no skin off their teeth.

Especially Target. Oh, I'm sorry Mary Rambien--tarshay [sic, &c.].

Don't come to Spain. The customer is always wrong. The conventional, polite form of address to a customer is ¿Que quiere?, what do you want, usually after a big sigh and eye roll. Example: In the fitting room: "I need another size, this is too small". "No, m'am, the problem is YOU'RE too big!" And so on.

But then there was the time in Macy's I fruitlessly tried to get a salesclerk to hand me a pair of tights that were in a display behind the counter. "Those, the green one, the celery green ones"...no response.I tried again.."well, apple green"...no response, then a big sigh. "Miss" she answered,dripping disdain. "This year it's called Kiwi."

@Conbon: Shhh. The ice under the rink at Rockefeller Center is where we hide the bodies of European tourists who got too uppity. Just, uh, don't order the smoked trout in the Rainbow Roon.

Maybe they had a final sale policy?

Read the receipt before you sign, and listen to the "stupid" sales girl when she also tells you ALL SALES ARE FINAL.

Who's stupid now!?

slimceagirl: Well here's another demented Pinkotto factoid : they only carry size "small" clothes, which combines nicely with the " no returns" policy to make them brave and early adopters of the drunkorexiacentric retailing model. Which is a completely fucking stupid model.