Former Jezebel intern and attempted Paris Hilton free-er David Seaman was on Fox's Morning Show With Mike and Juliet today to talk about Salvia, the hot new (legal!) drug that's taking America's colleges by storm. "They told me I'd be on to talk about why I'm in favor of keeping certain drugs legal," Seaman said in an email to friends and colleagues, "and why many college students agree that some decriminalization for soft drugs makes sense." He had a little argument worked out and everything! But he was on The Morning Show With Mike and Juliet so they actually just sat him next to some mook who posts clips of kids having bad trips on YouTube and interviewed a doctor who says all the drugs will cause deadly car crashes. Then they introduced a girl whose brother killed himself on the Salvia! Seaman's entertaining email describing his ordeal is after the jump. A brief clip is attached.

Hey media colleagues/friends/everyone,
Went into a taping yesterday for Fox's "The Morning Show w/ Mike and Juliet" and it turned out to be a complete clusterfuck. It aired this morning. They told me I'd be on to talk about why I'm in favor of keeping certain drugs legal (salvia), and why many college students agree that some decriminalization for soft drugs makes sense. My main argument revolved around the fact that it's safer to tax and regulate non-habit forming herbs than to impose mandatory sentences, put yet another product on the black market, etc. People in college are going to seek out these things either way.

I get there and the producer goes over what I'm going to say, tells me I should play up the "college kid" angle and talk less about the "political" aspect. She tried to group me with a kid who posts videos of himself smoking salvia on YouTube, even though I repeatedly told the pre-interview producer I had never posted such a video and thought those who did were "YouTube whores".

Walk onto the set and am immediately villainized, the host keeps referring to me as a "user" and finally I say to him: stop calling me a user. I had experimented with a legal drug twice; does that make one a "user"? Also, the oh so scary lead-in package literally shows a crack pipe and I ask the hosts what a crack pipe has to do with anything. Talk about a bias. Then they bring in a girl whose best friend committed suicide while using salvia and sit her next to me. Trashy and manipulative on the part of the producers. I felt sorry for her.

Just because someone smiles at you while they're fucking you over, it doesn't mean they're not fucking you over. This was a really depressing experience. The audience, some of them were wearing crosses and almost all of them were shaking their heads at me from the minute I sat down — so I said they seemed somewhat "condescending" and was immediately booed. Another guest on the show later compared the experience to "being in a hung jury down south" — so true. I felt like the people in the audience were straight out of that American Gothic painting.

I used to think the Democratic Party was ridiculous to avoid Fox/Fox News programming. Now I know what they're talking about. There really is an inflexible agenda. Luckily, viewers around the country are already starting some online outcry.

link soliciting experiences:

And the full clips of his appearance: Part one and two.